Today when i started to study i when on to
youtube and typed emo hand cut i saw one
super emo hand cut is like damn sick la
but damn cool all the hand cut mean alot
to the ppl who cut they own hand i also
got cut before not 1 or 2 time but alot of time
but also not that bad la i show u now the video





i hope u all dont end up to this kind of state
this is mad ok and i hope this can remind me
not to cut my body i am trying to stop cutting
my own body the bible said that my body is the lord
and is not mine so i should not cut or do any to harm
to my body. after alot of thing i decided not to cut my
body anymore but is going to be hard since i have been
doing it 4 quite a long time and it is very hard 4 me to stop
cutting my own body but i am willing to try because i have my friend
and family along with me to stop this thing i hope yiting u can stop
cutting urself too i am going to stop if i can stop u also can pls thing
about the ppl around u i hurt all of my friends and my family too
pls stop when u can dont be like me stop when the ppl around me start
to get hurt is hurts me alot but it also teach me alot of thing about caring
about other and how other ppl love me and try to stop me
pls yiting stop cutting ur body and let us stop all the cutting on our body
there is other way to solve our problem i am finding that way will u join
me to find that other way ???




yiting pls take care
and dont cut ur hand
i am trying to stop too
u nid u can come and find
me .

today wake up change go to sch bus stop to meet YT
to eat breakfast and than we go to sch to have our oral
damn hard la i did my best i hope i can pass all my oral
today .

i was damn scare la in the hall i was facing everyone i was
on the hall stage not fun at all so many ppl look at me so i
cant read very well today damn it la i sux damn it also i talk
to david from my church about my problem la and we chat
for more than 2 hour la and i told him quite alot thing and
he teach me wat to do and it was a very nice i found one
more friend that i can share my problem with and i
the LORD gave me one more good friend thx so so much
i dont wat to said my LORD thx so so much .


i told him about my problem about me getting emo and
starting to cut my hand and it told how my some of my friend
scolded me la and they r damn unhappy about me getting
emo and cutting my own hand but i also told him why i cut
my hand and i try to hide about the thing it is a time i really
share all my problem and not trying to hide about anything
and after talking to him i feel much better and i kind of feel
not so emo and kind of lighter on my back and it feel kind of
good when u get to share all ur problem and the person will
share to all ur other friend in ur own sch it is damn nice la i
hope all my friend can find the someone to share with and
not getting emo and starting to cut hand like me.

i hope all of u
good luck 4 mid year
and be happy and not
emo like me ok

EMO DAY 4 me
the whole day i damn emo
sorry to all my friend and classmate
4 being so damn emo and sorry
fish i promise i will not cut my hand
any more and dont worry i will keep
my promise ok i will try to be happy
and keep smiling
hahaha

yesterday i was talking to ty and
she was damn freaking emo and
when i try to make her happy
it is not working and i got a bit
emo beacuse i feel than my friend
in pain and i cant help that kind of
pain only ppl that have go through
that kind of pain before than can
understand so i got them emo
and i start to cut my hand it hurt
at first but later the pain in not
on my hand but is in my bleeding
heart and than today i got them emo
the whole bloody day sorry to all my
friend and classmate and LORD
i hope trm is a better day and trm
i can have breakfast with YT and i hope
she dont emo and i try not to be emo
and i will not cut my hand anymore

i wish all my friend good luck 4 trm oral
take care and keep smiling and dont be
emo like me ok >.<
haha
BB



Today my mood swing damn bad i dont
know why but when someone make me
than i got damn piss and than i go into
emo mode today i blog early so that i can
sleep early i have been sleep at 2am 4 the past
few night because i have to study 4 my mid year
damn tiring la . everyday study study day and
night to make sure i can get my a1 this time

yaya trm is ryan tan birthday i hope he can have a
fun day and dont have to worry about studying
i here by wish u a very happy birthday .

yt i saw u quite emo wat happen dont emo
la i hate to see my friend to be emo and
joshua tang u look damn tired la dont over
work urself do ur very best can la dont over work ok.

TAKE CARE ALL MY FRIEND AND DO UR VERY BEST
IN UR MID YEAR BUT DONT OVER WORK OK
KEEP SMILING AND TRY TO BE HAPPY OK
HEHE:D

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial,
because when he has stood the test,
he will receive the crown of life that God
has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12








Today i got alot of thing
done and i saw YT gaving
her speech she was a bit
i can see her hand a bit
shaking and i start pray
4 before and i hope that
the lord show her the way
and i think she is very happy
after she finishing the speech
i hope that she is happy now
all the best for your mid-year
and keep smiling ok

today i try to make up to
kl but there is still a gap
i wan to close the gap but
he dont wan to close it
why must it be him and
why must he leave me when
i nid him the most and join
the person i hate the most
i have try to forgave she but
she dont let me go why ??
why must she make me although
i does not make my life very hard
but still i got a bit of impact on my life
why ??
must u make Melisse tan i wan my own
life let me go now .
this is my life is not urs so get loss and dont
ever come back ok .




What the hack have i done
wrong to kl to make him
i really dont know and
i try to ask him but
he is trying to run away
from the problem and i
wan to know but the dont
wan to tell me .

i damn unhappy about it
la really i dont wan to lose
a close friend like him and
really i hope our friendship
can last long and is this going
to be our end of 8 year of friendship??
if it is so this really break my heart
and i dont ever wan to break up our
friendship after so long why must it
be u close friend damn it why must
be u KL wat the hack i do wrong to
u i am damn piss off by Melisse tan
i ask u why haven u help me but
u when to sit with them and leave me
all alone u hurt me u know why u leave
me when i nid u the most and join somebody
i hate so so much i really try to forgave her
but she never let me go why must it be me
she have to pick on me and u join them when
i nid u the most why my close friend .

lord why did u send me so many test
can u teach me to solve all the test
guide me through the hard time and
gave me peace and gave me back all
the friend that i have lose and let
me bring them to u in the right way
of Christ and all i hope for the coming
week is that i can solve all my problem
and all my friend can find peace in u
and guide them in the right way and
may all of them can study hard and
do really well 4 they mid year and
dont let any of them get hurt in
any way and protect them from
any harm and gave them peace
in they heart and may my love 1
too .

all the thing i type here is really
from my heart and really this is
wat i wan in this whole week and
i may not be bloging 4 the next
week and i hope the ppl that is reading
this blog be bless as well and i hope
that u may forgave me 4 anything
that i have done wrong and pls tell
me ok so that i dont ever made again
thx everyone 4 reading and praying
4 me and all the ppl around and may we
praise the lord in wat ever we do ok
and
keep smiling
and praise
the lord

john 8:12
I am the light of the world
he that followeth me shall
not walk in darkness but
shall have the light of life.








STRESS STRESS STRESS
mid-year start trm damn
fast i hope i can pass my
chi paper trm i kind of
dont like chi but i have
to take it and i hope
it is not too hard i
hope i can get a A1
i work hard and all
i can do trm is to do
my very best and than
the rest i leave it to GOD.

i haven been online this few
days i haven been studying
i like a mad cow and try to
cover all the study i have to
go through and the same thing
is apply to my best friend and
all the sec 4 the that is trying to
hit there target and getting wat
they wan.

o ya today is damn slacking in class
i damn tried i sleep damn yesterday
that why i feel damn sleepy and i keep
drinking water to keep myself to be awake
shit i haven done finish my math homework and
i left it in school i better i take it back home trm after
my chi paper sian i hope u life is better that my life

trm is the starting of NDP08 the first training it is
going to be hard and i am going to pray 4 them
if u wan me to pray 4 u pls post in on my tagboard or
come and find me i will help if u wan to help urself i cannot
force u to help only u can help urself that is all 4 today.

damn freaking busy with my study
but i am going to Thailand with my
best friend = fish, jacob and me
we are all going together i damn
happy and that is all i happy
happy:)

YT dont be sad i read ur blog on the 16
u and pls dont hate urself and pls
dont go emo i dont want u to be emo
4 u are my number 4 bf
smile ok
u look better when u smile


T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T

Today damn busy i woke up 7 bath
that when to sunday school and
than i when to buy psp final
i bought my psp after a
very long time of asking
my dad just brought my to
the shop and he ask me to pick
than he pay so fast i was kind of
shock to i was think wat the hack
is wrong with him he told me
my very early birthday gift
he will not be in town by my birthday
so he buy for me now

after that i when back home and change into
my bb full-u and go and take picture and
it was damn sian la i got to wait 4 my
turn and i waited 4 half and hour damn it
la so many ppl see me wear so funny la

after that i when back home to change
and then go to borders to buy my books
i bought 3 james patterson book and 1 i not sure
who write it all together i pay 69.90 i got 25%off
and it cost me $59 and i pay with my own money
and i saw ivin yeo and ench lim at borders
they look so shock and then we chat 4 5min and
that i when shopping with my mom 4 her new handbag
damn sian la i just sit there and wait and wait her took 1
hour to pick her new handbag i was reading my new book

than i when home and stating to do my founder award form
i am done when YT came online so i started chatting and till
i haven bath yet i am quite dirty now i think i am going to bath
after i finish bloging .

today i was abit emo but i still can control but my friend
can see that i am not happy and try to talk to me but i dont
wan to talk about it so i when on with my busy day final i can
rest and chat with me number 4 bf -YT

O ya i was quite piss with her yesterday she told me
that she will call me after the dragon boat thing and
i waited till 2am today i was quite piss but i forgave
her 4 she is my number 4 bf so that is all i have to
blog i hope ur day is not as busy as me haha =)

WALAO YT U REALLY S.T.M GIRL MEH



=) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =)= ) =) =)=) =) =) =) =) =)






Today i talk to my new award ppl most of
them come from NDP07 and i told them
how i feel about all of them i really hope
wat i told them they can take in wat i
told them and i really love them and i
dont wish to see them get hurt and
i talk to glen mok about joel lai he
told me that joel lai ask me f#$% off
in his face i really feel that hurt me
badly i think he is trying to pull me
out of founder award but i am going
to stay strong because alot of ppl
is pushing me and pulling me and
they all told me not to gave up and
they all love me as much as i love them
i can do alot of thing right and this whole
week is damn hurting and painful and touching
and i found out that i got alot of support from
my classmate and my friend this is all the support
i nid to get founder i will do my very best to get
founder for those who help me and wan me to get
i will do my very best and never let gave up in my
mind anymore thx so so much i really can do without
u all my old,best,ok friend u are my soure of strong.






emo

today feeling damn emo but when YT came
and gave me a note and it make me feel so
much better and i found out who can i trust
when i really need them they came in to my life
and took me alway from all the pain and calm
me down they are my best friend : yiting,Joshua,marilyn
and more to come .

yesterday i cry in front of the computer after someone
call me and told me something and i cannot take it any
more so i cry like a baby when i was crying i called one
of my best friend yiting and i told her wat happen and
she calm me down but i am still crying i stop only after
i think over and over why that kind of things must happen
and for that short time i lost my fighting soul and i talk to
my mother she told me not to gave up and i take her point
and i try to sleep but i really in pain heart and i cant sleep
the whole night today i am feeling damn low and then yt
came and gave me a note in the note she ask me not to gave
up and be happy after reading i felt damn touch and i was going
to cry again but this time i only drop a few drop of my tear
then i told myself i am not going to cry over a asshole word
and i told myself i have damn good friend around me so why
care about that asshole .

i love u Yiting as my best friend without u i think
i will gave up founder by now thx so so so much
i love u and will protect u like i protect all my BB boys
so come to me when u have problem i will help u at
all cost because u love me and protect me first so
i am going to do the same thing thx for all the thing

today is not a very smooth day 4 me
i got piss off my joel lai again i hate
that i total hate that i like to show
off that he is the csm i hate that la
every time i nid to report to him
but i am not going to do that the only
ppl i am going to report is the officer
i think that all the other ppl can see
that he is picking on me but lucky i have
the officer to back me so not so bad
but till he try to find foe with me damn
it wat the hell problem is with him i did
not make him why is he trying to pick on me
and he make me and gave me a hard time he
show everyone that he is the most powerful
i hate that la and i dont think i am the only wan
that hate that la but before he become the CSM
he was not like that i think he lost himself when he
become the CSM before that is 1 of friend but after
that he change totally the way he talk and the way he
act and all the thing he do so different i wish i never put
his name as the csm i think i just harm a friend of mine
i can forgave him but will he change?? i really hope
that he can change after he leave BB
back to the old joel lai and not the joel lai that i know
now maybe u all think i am thinking very simple
but to be happy is to be simple that is wat i think
i hate the life of power and frame and rich this
kind of life is the wost life u can get beacause
u will never know how to enjoy the small thing
in life u only care about power,frame and money
this kind of life u will never find real love and real
friendship and soon u will lose urself .

damn i worte so much on joel lai and the life
i wan i almost forget about all the funny thing
i done during the day although there a few unhappy
thing going on but i can only hope 4 a better trm so
i feel better after i write out wat i think and feel the whole
day i feel so much happy all i nid is abit of chatting with my
close and good friend i should feel even better i dont think
anyone is going to call me or ask me how i feel today unless
they read my blog now so i wish all the ppl who is reading my
be happy and dont let thing hold u back and final let us pray to
our almighty GOD and may he bless the ppl that have harm or
hurt us deeply 4 the lord said :If you forgive those who sin against you,
your heavenly Father will forgive you.
But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Matthew 6:14-15
so let us forgave the ppl that has done so thing to hurt us and the father
will forgave us and the sin that we have make




sian my whole day is damn sian
i wanted to go church but i over sleep
then never go sian i kind of miss church
but never mind i try to go next week

today i did nothing much i play pokemon
and study math test on tue that is all i go the whole
sian nobody chat with me on msn today i damn
sian

still got 8 more day till the end of founder award hand up
to HQ i haven do much i nid to get alot of thing done
if i dont hand up on time i fail founder award
i dont feel like doing at all but if i get founder award
i will be the first Nt to get it in FMSS so i will try
mind best but i dont think i can make damn

i hate joel lai he is a bloody asshole i dont think i am
the only who hate he there is alot of ppl who hate him
but i am the only wan who dare to tell him off in in face
i do than is because he piss he off on friday i did not do
anything to him he come and find and said that the bb flag
is my problem i have to hang it up and i dont like his tone
and i said i get it done on monday he still not happy so i damn
piss i ask him wat the F his problem and i got damn piss i call
office and ask them who is the ic 4 the bb flag and they told me
it is under mr .ooi so i told joel lai in this face i am going to hang that
stupid bb flag so to shut his damn mouth and he better not come find
me 4 any award problem i am not going to handle his problem ask him
go joshua tang la joshua is going to drag damn long la so that is his damn
it problem la .I hope he dont get founder award la this kind of ppl can get
founder is damn freaking lucky he damn close of not getting founder why
did i even care about how many ppl is going 4 founder damn it la if i did not care
today less than 4 ppl can get founder award la .
why did i go and care la??

YO toady i take the worry bus to
school and i have change bus lucky
i got up early this morning so
reach sch around 6.10am i went
to 7-11 to buy some sweet i stated
to eat when my friend saw my eat
they all wan so i gave them than
i left with damn little luck i bought
one more so i never open till the
uno game .

o Ya me and yiting got own by the
pri sch kids super funny i won 2 set
than yiting loss all the round she never
win a set at all so sad T.T in the end i
did not make it to the 2nd round
so i went back to sch to find yiting
to have lunch than i found out that
she have meeting so waited but than
i got gastric pain again so i went off to
have lunch with glen i did not eat much
i was in pain i feel like taking a cab home
but glen take take the same bus with me
so i waited and we went home

when i reach home i am almost dead
the pain is killing me but i have to
take the gastric pill and i went to sleep
after waking up i went to buy my new school
shoe finial i got a new pair of sch shoe my
old sch shoe is like gaving way so my mother
brought me to buy my sch shoes .

my whole week is like a big mess
i have to do alot of homework
and study 4 alot of test but i never
do it at home i only study at school
or at my friend house i hate to study
at home i don't why but i hardly study
at home .

sian still got 2 more till mid year exam
stress stress stress stress stress stress
i wan to get all a1 in my study

YEA 33rd win AQ2008






damn it la i got gastric pain
this morning than i never
go school damn it i miss
today sci test damn it
la i hate to stay at home
damn boring i cannot use
the computer my mother
make me lie down on the
bed the whole day damn
boring la than i watch tv
and read some of my fav book
and go thought my sci
damn sian la

i call off all the meeting i
should be attaining damn
i hate that i have to change
my date again damn

shit i hope trm i can go
back to school and i hope
i dont wan to have gastric pain
again damn pain and i miss
all my friend in school
i only sms kok loong the
whole day .

miss- kok loong , Marilyn, tze fook,yiting,Joshua tang
and all my friend and classmate
damn it i got to take my sci test trm damn
freaking lonely i got to do it outside classroom
damn damn damn damn damn damn damn





Ya final it is april so fast 3 month past
i got less than 5 month till my GEO 'N
paper quite stress but still can manage.

today is april fool day damn i got
prank by my friend but when i
try to make him but i fail i sux
at pranking ppl .

than after school i when to
have lunch with my friend
kok loong ,tze fook and marilyn
during lunch we chat about
love and some other personal
thing but tze fook left first and
than we continual to talk we chat
till 3.45 then we all go home .

O ya today i am late for my DAS class
damm i over sleep and than i went to class
late likely the teacher never scold me for being
late damn lucky maybe the teacher in good mood
hahaha.

this few day i am feeling quite down because of
the thing about YT i hate when i cos my friend
to get hurt that why she never online this few
day i never get to chat with her but i get to chat
with other of my friend i really hope this thing
can faster end i dont wan this thing to hurt her
to much and i hope this kind of this will never
happen again damm it why must it be my good
friend and it this kind of thing happen to any of
my good friend i will really feel damm down and
than go into EMO state i really hate this kind thing
but life is alway unfair i here by pray for the person
who have hurt my friend and me i forgave him for
JESUS said "If you forgive those who sin against you,
your heavenly Father will forgive you.
But if you refuse to forgive others,
your Father will not forgive your sins."
Matthew 6:14-15
so no matter how badly i am hurt i will
forgave him for we are all ppl and i only
hope he can change and stop all this
childish act and follow the LORD in
the paths of righteousness that is all
i have to said today i hope all of u
reading my blog will also help me
to pray for the person that is doing
all this kind of childish act .

thx alot
take care
bye bye
see u trm