Today sch was the same so nothing to blog about
after sch saw jia yu on the bus and then she give
back my 10buck ya just in time the money come.
trm i am going to watch WANTED is look super nice
on the AD so going to watch ya hahaha.

changing my lifestyle but is super hard but i must change
if not i will soon or later i will lose all my friends i have
change alot i know i will try and change back but u all
must give me some time i am super worn out now and
i hope by the end of the Ns i will be back to my ownself
and be back the funny and lame clifford ang that u all know.

PLS FORGIVE ME IF I HAVE DO ANYTHING IN
THE PAST THAT HAVE HURT OUR FRIENDSHIP.


Today when out with kok loong and watch
you don't mess with the zohan it was super
funny and when also when to eat ice cream
there is some pic of our ice cream.

Thx for asking me out if not i will be roting
at home and doing nothing thx and i will
try and change and i try my best not to
talk about her when i am with u all ok
SORRY ABOUT THAT

haha today was a fun day at least didn't not
when emo although i know somethings bad
but i can take it i am strong yeah i will try
and let go all my worry and it is time i take
the fact that she is gone T.T
nvm lets stop here haha

lets look at the pic
















kok loong ur ice cream mess





















look at my messy cup ice cream
















KL ur ice cream face





Yesterday afternoon i when to r meh birthday BBQ
and is was ok i got damn F-ing piss off by someone
la.

ok let not talk about stupid things
i came back home around 11pm and
i start to msn till 4.35am during that
i have lot of stupid chat and fun and
i did something damn stupid i don't to
tell u all haha but it is damn funny
i nearly laugh till i cry but it was damn
over.

sorry to that wan who play with me
that stupid game and sorry to make u
play that dumb game.

Today in sch was super tried la
i sleep in most of my class and
after sch i when out with jia yu
and we did some shopping and
we when for a movie (get smart)
the movie was damn funny la
i enjoy it to the max today
THX SO MUCH JIA YU
HAHA


Today was ok day damn freaking
slack got 2 hr free time in sch.

i was not emo in sch but after
sch i when super emo i was kind
so sad how things turn out to be
i have been vomiting like mad
this few days even now i feel
vomiting it scary when u vomit
like mad and all u know u r to
stress i am try to anti stress
myself but i still vomit i hate it.

why have i turn out this way am
i really putting myself so much
stress till i am in this kind of state
i wonder if i was not so stress up with
my sch and BB work will i be so emo and
in so much pain.

alot of ppl think that i am acting but i am
not i really trying to change my emo-ing
and anti stress myself but i cant i wan to
stop thinking about pain.

no want in my class can understand wat kind
of pain i am going even my best friends cant
maybe it is time to end all road to pain.

alot of my friends keep scolding me
and telling me to stop thinking
about dying and be strong and
live on.

My mother brought me go see a dr today
and the dr told me that i am over stress
that is the main cost of this vomiting
and if i dont how to anti stress myself
i will have more vomiting i have to go
back and see her and that time i will
have to take a scoop test to see how
bad is my stomach when i hear that
i was kind of freak out she told me that
a tube will be insert into my mouth and
all the way down to the stomach and it
sux just to think about it i will have to
see how it goes in about 2weeks time
if this vomiting keeps on i must do that
stupid test i thought that only YT will
have to do it now me shit la

the dr also said if this go on i may go in
to deep trouble i may start to vomit blood
and that time i will have to OP and it is
going to sux more than doing that stupid
scoop test.

i dont mind dying but i dont want to do
op i hate going into that stupid hospital
i hate op this is going to be my 3rd big op
i have in my 16years of life mad la.

i hope all my stress can go alway and i can
stop all my vomiting and i will not have to
do any stupid op


YT i hope u get well soon !!!!


i am going crazy i cant help
my best friends from there
problem i am really useless
friend i cant help yet i still
put more problem on them
wat kind of friend am i ?

I think i am a stupid,emo
and a fucking useless
friend.

When i c u all in pain i cant help u
all i feel pain.

why am i so weak?why must i
keep c my friends in pain and
i cant help them.

i am sorry YT i guess i piss
u off to the core and i am
sorry will u forgive me the
stupid,emo and useless friend
that i am and trm is that thing
BE STRONG and dont cry


Today is going to be the first day of sch
i am going to hate today i am damn worry
i haven really finish my homework so i
think i am damn screw .

i haven been blogging this few days is because
i am damn busy trying to finish my home work
sian no time to do my homework at all during
the june holidays T.T

i hope all my classmate and friends have do
all their homework not like me so super last
min la sian.

a super boring and quite emo holidays for me la

Labels: BUSY BUSY BUSY

i come here with a super down mood
i am damp hurt by someone that
i look up to and it sux and i wanted
to break up friendship with my
best friends i try to forget them
today but i fail and i told one
of them to forget about me and
just dont care me because i know
i cant forget them so i told that person
to forget me and i told her that maybe
i should end my 1year and 36days of
friendship and i think she is going to
be damn piss with me but i have to
do it i have been sharing all my things
with her and i am bring her with all
my problem and i hurting her like mad
so i think it is better that i stop hurting
her by not telling her so much things
i cant stand her getting hurt and worry
because of me and i am really sorry i think
that way just now but i have try to forget
her but i fail i hope that she will not be
so piss with me .

STUPID ME
STUPID MISTAKE
I AM A USELESS AND
STUPID GUY

Labels: I SUCK TO THE CORE

i just ccome back from the two camp and
it sux not because of the camp but the
ppl that have hurt me through the camp it
sux la .

i try to keep it to myself but i fail because
when i try to leave my friends away from
me but they come and find me and when they
did that i feel damn touch but i cant tell them at
all i am scare if i told them about my pain i will
hurt them .

i am sorry my friends that i have to leave u all alone
for so long i am just try to think through wat have i done
in this 4 years in bb and why did i work so hard for wat.

when i alone i think through alot of thing and i try to calm
myself down and try to be less emo .

why must that bb office hurt me so much and it must be on my
last day that he have hurt me to the core of the core and it make
me think through have i been that useless and why must he keep
hurting me.

why did i work so hard for this 1and the half year and wat did i get?
why must the person i look up to hurt me the most by do a unfair pick?
why must i keep living in this world ?
why cant i die ?
why keep me in this painful world?
why must the world keep hurting over and over again?
why must all this things fall on me only?
why did i landed up in this world?
why must this world be unfair to me and all the ppl that have been unfair?



today is FRIDAY THE 13
is suppose to be bad luck
but to me it not it haven
been a busy day i when
to sch at 8 to have a meeting
and it ended at 2pm it is longer
than s2e la but it will be my really
last meeting as the mentor of the camp
and i will miss all the ppl i have work with.

so i when down to ikea to buy a few things
for my farewell and i buy a few things
for the ppl that have work with me and
hope they like it.

and later at 5.30 i left my house i when to
hq to find mr chua to have dinner and we
meet clem and shua.

dinner was quite nice and thank u so much
mr chua for the treat and i enjoy it la
i hope u enjoy it too and next time
let take a better pic ok .

overall today was a happy day and a very busy
day but i have enjoy it .

i was sad after i hear mr chua said the reason
i am not awards Ic is because i am dyslexia .
i was asking myself why did the officer
choses to pick shua as the ic because he is
not dyslexia it is not fair i have work so hard
and yet they pick the ic in this kind of manner
it HURTS me so badly should now i really
feel like crying out loud and
shout out loud "why must the treat
me like that what have i done wrong ??"
that kind of picking the Ic hurts me to the core
i am getting hurt over and over again how
long can i hold on it just hurts me to think that
i am a dyslexia why must my life be so painful.

i was happy at first but it still ended with a painful
cut in my heart.

Labels: WHY MUST U HURT ME TOO T.T

today sleep like a pig i sleep till 3pm today
and i wash up and stated to do my homework
till 6 my mother call me to do for dinner
and i came back at 8 and i started to chat
on msn .

then i was scolded by my friend for
writing about my death and go to leave
i know u hate me to put that i will
try to change ok and i stop being
emo ok gave me sometime
i hope i can change but it is
going to be hard but i hope
u are there with me and
support me i nid u my friend.

jia yu i hope that u can get well
soon from ur allergy and
take care my old friend

so that is my boring life

this is a new song by secondhand serenade - last time




I'm stuck with writing songs
Just to forget
What they really were about
And these words are bringing me so deeply insane
That I don't think I can take my way out

I couldn't breathe through it
Like I need to and the words don't mean a thing

So I'll sing this song to you
For the last time
And my heart is torn in two
Thinking of days spent without you
And there is nothing left to prove

I'm counting all the things I could have done
To make you see
That I wanted us to be what I go to sleep and dream of
I want you to know that I'd die for you
I'd die for you

I couldn't breathe through it
Like I need to and the words don't mean a thing

So I'll sing this song to you
For the last time
And my heart is torn in two
Thinking of the days spent without you
And there's nothing left to prove

And if you are alone
Make sure you're not lonely
Cuz if you are, I blame myself
For never being home
I know I'm not the only one
Who will treat you like they should
What you deserve

I'm stuck with writing songs
Just to forget

So I'll sing this song to you
For the last time
And my heart is torn in two
Thinking of the days spent without you
And there's nothing left to prove

Labels: CHANGING FOR THE BETTER BUT IT HURTS

Labels: love so pain

today is a stupid day i when to around
7.45am when i reach sch i when to the bb
to slack around and play my psp.

till 8.30 i when out of the bb room to
my locker and i saw yiting i did not feel
like call i was damn scare that she will
scold me and + i saw her blog it kind
of give a shock i am scare of her somehow
i cant face her and i am trying to run away
but i dont think she will let me go and she
have been talk to me and try her very best
to make me wake up i know u r a very good
friend i will try my friend but no promise ok
i know u hope that time can heal my wound .

I really hope i can tell her my true feeling
but is so hard to tell her.

this is a song i wan all my friends to hear
beause this song mean alot to me and
i hope all of u will know wat i mean and
enjoy the video and song

pls read the lyrics ok!!!
shine on by jet



Please don't cry
You know I'm leaving here tonight
Before I go I want you to know that there will always be a light

And if the moon had to run away
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away

So many times I'd planned
To be much more than who I am
And if I let you down I will follow you 'round until you understand

That if the moon had to run away
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away, yea, oh yea

When the days all seem the same
Don't feet the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
I will shine on, for everyone

So please don't cry
Although I leave you here this night
Where ever I go how far I don't know
But I will always be your light

That if the moon had to run away
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away, yea, oh yea

When the days all seem the same
Don't feet the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
And I will shine on, for everyone
Shine on, for everyone

When the stars all look the same
Don't feet the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
And I will shine on, for everyone
Shine on, for everyone

Labels: PAINFUL LIFE

Labels: It is going to be the time i leave this place and seek for a new place

Labels: Life is to painful to go on sometimes feel like ending it for good

i haven been bloging the last 8 days i was a thailand
doing my SL and it rox i love the kids and i miss them
i wish i can be back with them now MISS them they
r so cute i really MISS them i am thinking of going
back there end of this year and this time i am going
yo stay for damn long i wan to spend more time over
there and i wan to know more of them i really hope
that i make a small impact in there life and i hope
the like the paint job we all did and i love them
miss u so much i can use any more word and
there is to much i have to blog so i cut it short
into this few word THEY ROX AND I MISS THEM
i hope they will enjoy it and take good care of them
self .

today i did a 25km hike damn tired la + i am sick
but i did it damn fast la 6hr i did 25km damn fast
for me la and i am freaking tired i hope that
all my friends at my SL group that is sick
can get well soon and pls take care my friends
and i will miss the good time we have together la
and i wan to meet u all out soon la but first u all
have to get well and than we go out together la
we r going to have fun like mad if we all go out
la haha ..

Labels: miss the kids and i wan to go back to them NOW la pain pain