Today still sick but feeling alit better lets
hope i can feel even better by trm and
by the time i take my paper i will feel much
better.

sian my scoop test is on the 11 of sep now
abit the scare and dont wan to do for it
i dont mind dying but i dont like to suffer
anyway this can give the dr a better look
into my gastric c how bad is it lets hope
that nothing bad is inside but i know that
is just my hope cos if no problem where nid
to do a scoop test .

today damn fking sick maybe i am working to hard and
just before the exam i break down and this is call
back fire study.

yesterday night i tried to sleep but i just cant sleep
so i end up tossing and turning the whole night
i nv sleep even 1hr at all damn sian when u r very
tried but u just cant sleep that kind of feeling sux to the core.

i wish that i can get well before the N lvls starts

i think i am going to miss all that i have now because once
i leave all the things i have is nothing left cos i cant bring
anything to that place.

the light of life in my body is very dim
how long can it last.







today when to sch and the after sch when to see dr.chew a gastric doc
and it is super x la but my mother keep saying nvm as long u get well
then it ok to pay a bit more.

sian now i have like 5 type of medicine of gastic only still must
plus my other fever and flu medicine and only i have to take
7type of medicine crazy man

ok news update for my prelims scoring
cpa -93/100( hmm i am quite happy about it)
d&t- 43/50
sci- 80/100

Love is an emotion experienced by the many and enjoyed by the few

today nv go to sch cos i am having a super high fever
and a very bad headache.

i when to see a doctor and i was told that i must rest
more so i sleep the whole day a damn BROING day
la.

now i still a have a super bad headache but trm i
still nid to go to sch cos going to check my papers
and i am alit worry but still i got to face it the painful
marks i am going to get.

today i ask wtf wat mark did i get of sci and d&t
SCI- 80/100
D&T-43.5/50
i thought i was going to fail D&T but i nv yeah

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be

this moring i wake up and i feel damn hot i when
to took my temperature and it was 38.7 i am having
a fever then i told my mummy shit i am doing to die
i dont think i can go sch trm and i cant take back my papers
so sad but my mother told me just eat ur gastric and fever medic
and go and rest dont care so much and keep praying that u will get well soon.

wow sian after prelims sick i think after N lvl i am going to break down
let hope i can get well by trm.


i tag weizheng and then she tag me back is like
no end to the whole tagging thing anywhy i am
only going to do QUS 1 - 16 cos i lazy to do the
rest.

qus n1: the person who tagged you is
my ans: FU WEIZHENG

qus n2:your relationship with him/her
my ans: FRIENDS aka (:wonder and power babies:)

qus n3:your five impression of him/her
my ans: she is retarded,crazy,blur,funny and like to scold me

qus n4:the most memorable thing he/she has done for you
my ans: being my friend ya

qus n5:the most memorable thing he/she said to you
my ans:she say dont do stupid thing la or dont emo la

qus n6 : if he/she becomes ur lover you would
my ans: kill myself cos she will bully me like mad

qus n7 :if he/she becomes ur lover.she need to improve on?
my ans : hmm i dont know i guess stop bullying me

qus n8:if he/she becomes ur enemy you will
my ans: hmm i dont belive in having enemy so if really have
i will still forgive her cos she still my friend

qus n9: if he/she becomes ur enemy the reason would be
my ans : me being damn emo i guess

qus n10: the most desired thing u want for him/her will be?
my ans: doing well in her Os

qus n11: you overall impression of him/her will be
my ans: a nice nice friend

qus n12: how do u think people will feel about you
my ans: one word "EMO"

qus n13: the characters you love about urself is
my ans : easy to make friends

qus n14: the characteristics you hate about urself is?
my ans : being very greedy

qus n15 : the most ideal person you u want to be?
my ans: just being myself la

qus n16:for people that care and love you ; what do you wanna say ?
my ans: let be ur shield and i will protect u all till the day i die

Today wake up on the com and when to my blog to check my tagboard
then i found out amber wans be to do another quiz sian and her blog
cant copy and paste super waste time typing but i am still doing it cos
i am her FRIEND.

Another tagged QUIZ BY AMBER LIM

qus n1: the person who tagged you is
my ans: AMBER LIM

qus n2:your relationship with him/her
my ans: FRIENDS LA

qus n3:your five impression of him/her
my ans: she is retarded,crazy,blur,fun and alit care

qus n4:the most memorable thing he/she has done for you
my ans: being my friend ya

qus n5:the most memorable thing he/she said to you
my ans:she did not say anything memorable to me
but she like to make fun of ME

qus n6 : if he/she becomes ur lover you would
my ans: kill myself cos she will bully me like mad

qus n7 :if he/she becomes ur lover.she need to improve on?
my ans : STOP SUANING ME

qus n8:if he/she becomes ur enemy you will
my ans: hmm i dont belive in having enemy so if really have
i will still forgive her cos she still my friend

qus n9: if he/she becomes ur enemy the reason would be
my ans : no ideal

qus n10: the most desired thing u want for him/her will be?
my ans: doing well in her Os

qus n11: you overall impression of him/her will be
my ans: a nice nice friend

qus n12: how do u think people will feel about you
my ans: one word "EMO"

qus n13: the characters you love about urself is
my ans : easy to make friends

qus n14: the characteristics you hate about urself is?
my ans : being very greedy

qus n15 : the most ideal person you u want to be?
my ans: just being myself la

qus n16:for people that care and love you ; what do you wanna say ?
my ans: let be ur shield and i will protect u all till the day i die


qus N17 : pass this quiz onto 10 people that u wish to know
how they feel about u ?

1. yiting
2. joshua tang
3. glen mok
4. amber
5.weizheng
6.brandon tan
7. jinnie
8. jiayu
9. christ teo
10.yc

qus n18: who is 6 having a r/s with
my ans : this wan i totally no ideal

qus n19: if number 9 a male/female?
my ans : female la

qus n20:if number 7 and 10 are together would it be a good thing?
my ans : NO NO NO NO they cant be together

qus n22 : what is number 2 studying about ?
my ans : O LEVELS

qus n23 when was the last time u had a chat with number 3
my ans : yesterday night

qus n24 : wat kind of music band does number 8 like?
my ans : hmm this wan i really have no ideal

qus n25 : does number 1 have any siblings?
my ans: yes

qus n26: will u woo number 3?
my ans: HELL NO number 3 is a guy

qus n27 : how about number 7
my ans : hmm no although she is damn hot

qus n28 is number 4 single?
my ans : yes la

qus n29 : whats the surname of number 5?
my ans : fu

qus n 30 :whats the hobby of number 10?
my ans: chatting with his gf on the phone.

qus n31: does number 5 and 9 get along ?
my ans : hmm no ideal

qus n32 : where is number 2 studying?
my ans: FAIRFIELD la

qus n33; talk something casually about number 1?
my ans : yes la

qus n34: have u tried developing feelings for number 8
my ans : hell no cos she is my super old friend

qus n35 : where does number 9 live ?
my ans : so where very far from my house but still in singapore

qus n36 : what colour does number 4 like?
my ans:no ideal

qus n37: are number 5 and 1 best friends
my ans : no i think number 1 thinks that 5 is yuck

qus n38: does number 1 have any pets ?
my ans : no she is scare of animals

qus n39 is number 7 sexiest person in the world?
my ans: hmm jinnie is hot but not in the world

qus n40: what is number 10 doing now ?
my ans: 100% sleeping now

omgz this quiz is damn long who is the mad person that make
this quiz.

sian i have to go sch to meet weizheng and take books to study
later sian going to be a damn broing day .


i am back blogging i nv when back cos i was really very lazy and
tired so i told weizheng i am not going this i very rare for me to ps
somebody.

today after i told weizheng i am not going i went back to sleep and
i sleep the whole day yeah damn nice to sleep today cos raining
i dont even nid to on the fans just open the window damn cooling.

i was this toy on some blog shop and i really wants it cos it look damn
cute la next time i show u all the pic really cute i cant stand it i really
wan to buy but damn lazy to order haha me lazy pig today.

i am 8 days away from N level sian stress but today i gave myself a off
day yeah just keep sleeping and rest cos i am going to fight and work like
mad the next few days i want my 6 A1s.

"Don't let someone become your everything, because when they're gone you have nothing!"
by clifford

not bad right i came out with it yesterday when i was think about something and i came
out this "Don't let someone become your everything, because when they're gone you have nothing!"
by ME emo

today chi paper 1 & 3

paper 1 was not bad but paper 3
was damn fking hard la i dont get it
at all and i anyhow do i dont bother
to re look through hack care today last
day of prelims but it is also the count
down to N lvl 9days left back.

i just found out somebody has left my
life without letting me know maybe cos
of the exam that why that person left me
but anyway life without the someone kind
of feels weird and very empty and i mean
really very very very empty i feels like all the joy in
my body has just been suck away from me and
it really sucks life without the person just dont
feel the same i may not get to c the person anymore
cos i am leave fairfield in 4 more sch days this sucks
cos i am going to miss alot of ppl and the someone but
the good point is i no nid to follow stupid sch rule cos
i am not a fairfield student anymore but i going to lose
alot of thing that is super import in my life.






Today took math paper 2 and english paper 3

Math paper 2 was ok some of the qus was very easy
but some super hard la anyway i enjoy it cos i drew
my graph very nice and smooth so when i draw finish
and look at it i was damn happy with it .

English paper 3 was easy so i dont think i am going to fail

Before i did my papers i prayed and when i was doing my paper the problem
that i face in my life just when away and i can really do the papers even after
that i dont really think about the problems but when i c the problem in sch and
at home i am back to the emo state that i am always .

I did not so much after the papers i when home and sleep cos i dont wan to think
about anything and also i have not being sleep very well i sleep till 2 or 3 am i will
suddenly wake up than i cant sleep anymore.

All this suck but i will have to go through this cos this the life that everyone have to go
through in life but i hopes it all quickly ends cos my N lvls is starting on 2sep which is
lest then 10days away from now.

Today is my fourth day of prelims today
paper is eng paper 2 and D&T paper

English paper 2 was able to do
but i am not sure about some qus
but i think i can still pass.

D&T was not as hard as i though
it was going to be but i think i am
still going to fail cos part B i dont
really how to do.

Thank u my friend for hearing me out
and teaching some of ur tips thank u
but i also find i am alway giving u problem
i am sorry but u must know that i really
appreciate all that u have done for me
and even though u always scold me
but i know u care that why u scold me
i am sorry that i brought u so much trouble.

O ya a good news my new maid coming in
next week yeah no more housework for
me anymore more.

I LOST MY KEYS T.T

today i am not thinking right during break time
after math paper than i think i lost my keys i was
damn freak out when i cant find my keys i cant
study for my trm prelims paper to i finally can have
a day off thanks to my lost keys.

Math paper 1 was not bad i can finish the paper with the help
of the extra time i was given the whole paper was not
very hard but i nv do 1 qus cos i dont how to do there
i lost 2 mark for sure nvm it is all over .

CAP paper 1 was damn easy i enjoy doing the whole
paper but the last qus was damn not in the topic
but i still can do mr lim S C scare my class by telling
the class the paper was going to very hard but lucky
it was not and i study like mad for it yesterday.

i did some national quiz and i score 323,000 points
ya 2nd in my class not bad right .

today i also vomit once than i take my medicine and
it stop but still got a lit pain now. during cpa paper 1
i was think about something and i almost cut my own
hand i dont why the feeling just came back and i cant
control the thing and i was almost going to cut when mr sim
was behide me.

i know some of u reading my call me emo but i dont care
this is how i feel and i am not going to hide it anymore
i am tried of hiding and running away bet no wan can
understand wat the F i am going through but that is ok
cos i am use to bear the pain alone for some part of this
year i found a few people to share with by now i am back
at step 1 where i am all alone and just trap in my own
cage of fear.

Today had my Eng paper 1 and Sci paper 2
it was OK i don't really have the mood to do
the test cos of stupid problem that have been
in my mind i am really really down i am damn
down but nobody even care cos i am just to
useless and i am not very open to anyone
now a days cos glen and Joshua need to study
i don't wan to make them worried i am freaking
useless and lonely i wonder when will all my problem ends.
i feel like letting everything go and just die i am sick
of care for others when they don't even care about themselves.

i am just really naive to treat someone so nice yet what
i get back is some stupid comment that i don't really deserver
why do i even bother to help u after all i am just a normal friend
to u but toward me u r part of my life i bet u dont even care how
i feel cos u have to many other good friend i am just a extra maybe
i am just to useless to be ur good friend i am just not as wonderful
as ur other friends i am just someone that u don't really care about.

sometimes i ask myself do i deserver wat i get ?
i don't know all i know is that i really treat the somebody with my open
heart and i really love the somebody that is why i am doing all this maybe
i should not have do anything at all maybe sometimes i got to let it go
and let things run by itself and i should not try to protect or stop it cos
i am just to useless .

i don't belong in this world i don't belong anywhere cos in everybody
eyes i am just an extra and a asshole that should be lying in the coffin
and no where other that in that wooden box.

Today i can finally study cos today when out to
study with jia yu , kai heng and wei zheng i meet
jia yu at the 61 bus stop at 12 but i am 5mins late
cos i wake up at 11.50 and then bath very long and
make her wait for 5mins sorry i dont like people to wait
for me after meeting jiayu then we waited like 30mins before
61 reach and then we took to Holland and then we walk to bk
and then meet weizheng then we have lunch and started to study
and we study till around 3pm and then kai heng finally came and
then we waited for him to finish his lunch before we started to
study again and studied till 5.10pm and then we started to chat
and we start tell lame and cold jokes it was quite fun and then
we leave bk around 5.30pm then me , jiayu , kai heng when and
took 61 back home but weizheng still wants to study so she still
stay at bk we all left her all alone so poor thing right at less she can
hv time to study for her prelims.

Today was a day where i study alot and nv really thing about the
problems in my life i just forces and keep studying and try my
best not to thing about unhappy things in my life and i was
great cos for that few hours i dont feel painful or hurt or any other
feelings that kind of feels good but after coming back home all
the other feels come back and it sucks but this is the kind of
pain i can nv runway or hide from it cos it is pain brought by
this painful world.

Why am i such a losser i cant be good a friend that can protect
my others friend i am not worthy of anybody care cos i am just
to useless and dumb to be friend i am just a bloody stupid
guy that cant protect his friends i am just a BIG FAT LOSER
AND A BIG FAT FAILURE.

Labels: i am such a failure i am not worthy of anybody care and love

yesterday was my first day of prelims and it
was ok i got a lit freak out when my printer
jam during the CPA perlims damn it was so
close to failing my exam lucky mr ow ask me
to change my com then i change lucky man
if not i sure fail my cap perlims paper.

after exam when home to bath and pack some
books and when out with jiayu and study and
this time final we can study and get alot of work
done last few we keep chatting and nv do much work.

today i am trying to study but i cant cos i am still thinking
wat that asshole is saying and it just piss me off to the core
i really wan to bash him up but why do u all stop me.

i keep asking myself why can such ppl can get away from
there trouble so easy why am i so useless why cant i bring
him on to his knees why must hv do such thing why did the
teacher let him go why why why.

ppl always say that the world was hv make in a fair way i dont really
belive in it but now i do cos this kind of asshole can get away scot free
why is there no justices in this world who can bring them to their knees
who can teach them a lesson.

LORD why did u let those ppl get away why must u keep protecting
them why dont u teach them a lesson why why why this is not fair.

Today when to sch and i got a free drink from my
Sl friend when i saw the drink i almost cry
cos it remind me wat thing i hv done alot
i thank her for not only the drink but
the me wonderful 10day over at Thailand.

during math lesson damn power 2hr we
got the final info before my class go for
our perlims

LORD thank u for blessing today with a
wonderful day and painless day thank u my
lord.

lord pls bless all my friends taking their perlims
and lord i put them into ur hands and lord let them
do well in the perlims lord thank u .

Today is a good day although alot stupid
stuff happen but it still turn out to be fine
and it is the 4 day i nv vomit yeah cos i am
finally eating my medicine although my stomach
today abit pain but it is still better than vomiting like
mad.When out with yiting to hv lunch and really hv a good
good chat and it was really nice that we can sit down and
talk thing out.

Yiting - dont worry no matter how bad it turns i will still
be there for u and dont fear them cos they are just childish and
they will dare to make cos i am here i am not a easy person
to mixs with. if they really made u pls tell me cos i am going
to show them wat is the power of a ex -STF member and i really
think they i going to hate every sec of wat i am going to do
to them .


Lord bless all my friends with whatever they nid and
teach me the ways of life and let me step up and stand for
all that is right and let me teach the wrong and the weak
so that they will know where is the right path and they
will do the right thing

Lord also protect yiting from the people that is trying to
hurt her lord dont let anything bad happen to her lord
i put her into ur hands pls protect her.

Lord thank u for all the thing u hv done in my life thank u
MY ALMIGHTY LORD

Today i damn piss off feel like beaking him up
into pieces and raping him apart he just bully
my best friend and u r really damn lucky cos
of the teachers and my friend be thankful that
they stop me from breaking u apart u better thank
them u asshole.




this is the quiz amber tagged me

1:if your lover betrayed you.what would your reaction be?
my answer: hmm depends on what things

2:if you have a dream to come true.what would it be?
my answer: To be the best in everything i do

3:what will you want your dream wedding to be like?
my answer: romantic

4:are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
my answer: No cos i knows god is in control and he
have great plans for me

5:whats ur ideal lover?
my answer:hmm cute,alit emo and must be nice to me ?

6:which is more blessed ?
my answer: i dont get wat r u trying to say

7:how long do you intend to wait for the person you love?
my answer:i dont know

8:if the person you secretly like is already attached;what would you do?
my answer:wish the person all the best and hide my feels for her deep down
my heart .

9:is there anything that made you unhappy these days ?
my answer:yes.my classmate keep making my best friend

10: is being tagged fun?
my answer: hmm depends

11:how do you see yourself in 10 years time?
my answer:in the coffin i guesss

12:Who is currently the most impt people to you?
my answer: MY BEST FRIENDS

13: what kind of person do you think the one who tagged you is?
my answer:a nice , funny and like to suan me haha:)

14:would you rather be rich and single or married but poor
my answer:not sure

15:what the first thing very moring?
my answer: pray to god and ask for protection

16:would you give all in a relationship?
my answer:yes cos i love her and i am willing to anything for
her.

17:if you fall in love with 2 people simultaneously .who would you pick?
my answer: hmm none cos dont hurt any of them.

18:what type of friends do you like?
my answer:hmm all people is my friend.

19:what type of friends do you dislike?
my answer:asshole and bitch.

Today i am almost going crazy i cant study i cant play i cant do anything
right my head is like a bomb i am going crazy my life is a big big mess
wat am i doing now? i dont know walking like a zombie and following
stupid rules of life. why cant i break free cos i am to useless i am just
only a useless guy which don't worth anyone caring at all nobody should
give a damn wat i am feeling or doing .i am just too useless nobody should
even be my friend cos i am to useless i am not worthy of anyone being my
friend i am just to useless.

my pain in my stomach has gone from bad to worst and eating medicine is the only way
stop the pain. yeah cos i know as long i dont eat my medicine i will confirm
feel the pain and soon or later i am doing to die from it i am willing to bear the pain and
let the pain slowly kill me cos i dont wan to live anymore i am damn tried let me go
i dont wan to bear anymore power or fame i just wan peace and the only peace is
with the lord.

Today on i am not doing to take the stupid medicine and i am not going to bring it
to sch anymore let me go pls stop holding me back cos i dont worth ur care and love
i am just 2 useless to be anything i am just a loser from a NT class i dont worth all
the ppl to care for me.

TODAY when bishan to be a part of the connect
Singapore the whole event is damn waste of time
i dont even know wat the hack i am doing at all
damn stupid and i am not feeling not well my
stomach is damn pain but i still make it through
and today i nv take my pills and i dont dare to talk or go
near her lucky she also damn busy chatting lucky man
if not she will scold me haha

LORD thank u for removing the pain from me when i ask
u to help me to remove the pain thank u my LORD.

i am at my most weak point of my life
DEAR LORD
pls teach me how to be strong and dont
fear to be alone and to be stronger and
to stand on my own leg and lord pls dont
take away my friends from me cos i am
very weak now i nid them to be by my side
and i want to let them know that i love everyone
of them and i will nv leave them too cos i know
they nid me too when they r at the lowest point.
lord thank u for blessing me with all this friends
lord thank u for doing everything in my life i will nv
forsake u my lord thank u pls bring me out of the
darkness and unhappy past and bring me to the
front and lead me through the hard ship that i am
about to go through thank u my lord.


PAIN PAIN PAIN and more PAIN today is
damn painful day for me but even though
i am in pain i still try to enjoy my day.

when to meet mr mark during ws it was
very meanful i learn alot of facts of life
and a new way of looking of life.

after sch wanted to go home but saw jia yu
on the bus and she ask me wan to go and study
i say ok and so when to study at the library again.

i was damn tried nv do much work i was falling asleep
and i got damn piss till i took out my psp to play and then
nv do much work sian i cant study well i think i am going
to fail my prelims.

Today sch was quite fun enjoy my time in sch yeah
first time i enjoy it i also dont know why after
sch when to borders to buy some stuff i just bought
a new note book it look damn nice but the paper cant
be taken out but nv mind it looks damn nice i dont feel
like write anything on it it looks so clean and nice.

the note book cost me $26 damn x but nv mind i nv
use any of my own money haha.

hmm what should i do with this book still no idea yet but
at the time being i should keep it nice nice cos i may be going
to ask all my friends and classmate to sign on it got more than
200 pages so i think it should me able to storage all my friends
note to be on my new note book yeah.

today was a happy day for me yeah :D

LORD thank u for giving me this wonderful day
and thank u for giving me the will,strength and hope
to go on for today thank u my lord.

today when to sch the same
but today got early off cos yesterday
was our sch founders day.

after sch when out with dorcas, bolin, wei zheng
kylie , dan, jes, cas and charmaine to watch
the dark knight it was damn nice it is my 2nd time
warching it but i fell asleep halfway through i was
damn tried i sleep like 1 hr only but i nv miss the
last part the most fun part alot of fighting damn
cool.

jes- pls dont me emo and unhappy i dont wan to c any
of my friends be unhappy if u nid someone to talk to
pls come to me cos i am ur friend that is willing to help
u ok be happy and go on cos life is very very short dont like
me when it is coming to a end than start to enjoy life it is damn
late for me but u still got a lot of time.

LORD thank u for giving me another fun and wonderful
day thank u so much for giving me the power to go through
this day even thought i hv pain in my stomach u nv stop
blessing with friends that care for me thank u so much
i love u my ALMIGHTY LORD thank u.




today the pain in my body hv just gone
out of my mine control i am think that
my life is really coming to a end just when
i started to enjoy my friendship this thing
come back it really my end.

when and how will this thing end am i really
going to go like this i really wan to live but
looks like my time is up all i can do now
is to love and care for the ppl around me cos
my time is really not much left.

my last wishes
- to really fall in love again
- to enjoy my time with my friends
and lastly to leave this world without
letting any of my friends know cos if
they know they will be sad and i dont wan
them to be sad at all .

let the lord take me in peace and may all
my friends be happy forever .

let my leave take away all ur pain that
i have maked in ur lifes let me bear all
the pain for u all pls give me ur pains
cos when a dead person will not feel
any pain so give me all ur pain for i cant
feel anymore.

my death is bring light to everyone life
and i am happy about that.

Today when to sch stomach still got pain
but nv vomit lucky cos today is damn busy
day for me after sch rush home bath go out
meet christ and when for lunch and then
when back to sch to go for founders day celebration service.
i thought i was going to suck but i was wrong it was not bad at
all i enjoy it not because i got my award is bacause i got my
classmate that make me go high and we start having our own
fun thx my classmate for making my night a happy and enjoyable
night for me i love u all .

when i when up to take my award i hear alot of ppl cheering for me and
i was damn shock i thought it was going to be damn silent cos
last year was damn silent but this year was super different
i was damn happy i wan to thanks all the ppl that cheering for
me and i love all of u really u all rox thanks my friends.

i got $70 of borders gift card sian so much i dont even know
how to use sian i think i am going to bring yiting and shop
for books cos she is the only in my bf gang that like books.

yiting u r damn lucky i got this $70 it is time for shopping
for new books yeah yiting lets have fun shopping without
using any money yeah.

today is wonderful night for me how nice everyday is like
today.


Lord thank u for giving me this day letting me enjoy this
day before all the stress that is coming up a head lord thank
u so so so much for giving me peace and fun and taking away
my pain in my heart for today thank u my lord.