For the past few i have really thing through
i have final make a hard move i am going to
move on with my painful heart and life not
matter how painful its going to i am not going
to look back cos this is the only way i am going
to forget her and my past.

i know this road that i have choose is going to
be damn hard but this is the only way that i
can 100% forget everything that is unhappy.

for too long i had let myself be haunted by the
thing that have happen and now i have make
a stand for me to move on and nv to look back
no matter wat happen.

i hope my bestfriends can also make their stand
when they think they really nid to stand firm.

that all for today
i guess i nid to change the way i grade myself
hmm let me think....
ok i know i will use 100% as my full mark and
when i get 100% means i have totally forget everything
about the unhappy things in my life
haha

today i shall grade myself
40%

i wonder how can ppl jump down from
the buliding so easily i wish i can also do
that too bad i cant cos i am tie down by
alot of things and i dont wan to be name
as a coward.

i feel much better after thinking so much
things and looking back from my failure

today is 2/5



today i am really down

i really cant blog anymore :(

today is 0/5
i fail today and i fail it very badly
my whole head is her
i really want to forget her





today i am finally a Primer yeah :D
i am applying for The President's Award
i use to have this dream that i can prove
to ppl that normal T can also get President award
and to show ppl that we r not useless.

i have a goal now and i know is damn freaking hard
to get it cos only less than 10 ppl can get per year
but i will still do my very very best.

presidents award here i come
everyone look out for me :D

i love u but u can nv know
cos if u ever know i may lose
another friend and i dont wish
let history repeat its self
all i can say is i will always be by
ur side when u nid me but i will
nv show that i like u cos i love u.

today i rate myself 4.5/5





today my day is final getting abit more
busy and i kind of like it cos i dont have
to waste my day away.

next week i am going to apply for something
damn power i just got the new and i am damn
happy haha
a very good news is coming on the way.

i really nid to stop drink :X

today is the best day for me

from now on i am going to rate my days

today is 4/5 :)

today is the 7 day of my long and painful
holiday i can no longer be with the ppl
i wan to be anymore i can no longer
be with them the pain i suffer is more
painful then cutting myself no matter
how many times i cut i will not match
up to the pain i have now.

my nightmare is no longer just nightmare
but it came to realty.

the trap i told myself so many times not
to fall in yet i fall in the 2nd time i wish
i nv meet her so i can nv fall into the trap
that is going to be a nightmare.

wat should i do i dont know:(



i dont wats going to happen to me
i kind of lose my way.

i cant sleep since the day i felt sch
everyday i would drink and drink
but it still cant drunk my sorrow i dont know
why.

was is going wrong with me
i dont know
and i keep thinking of her
i dont know
dang

i lost my way,hope and everything
that is following it.

i hate this holidays




Today is 3rd day of my super long holiday work
have not started yet so stay at home the last few days
i dont why but i feel that i am lost and worry wat if
i cant handle the job given.

Somehow i lost my fighting spirit i dont why maybe
i am not as good as last time.as they say when u r at
the top u have no where to go but down so maybe
i am droping like mad i dont why i dont this bad
feel i think i have lost faith in myself. i am not longer
the strong and always not giving in to failure clifford
anymore i have change i dont why.

I feel so lost and worry i wish that the person that
was always supporting me is here now beside me
and support but this is not the case i have to stand
on my own but i dont am i ready.

I MISS ......

today my last day after today i will not be able to go back to
sch anymore.

after my paper when to bbhq and talk to miss chan and cheak
out on the job the give me and i am joining them 100% in nov 28.

so its means after the 28of nov i will be damn fking busy i am given
manpower IC as a post paid is **** i cant say cos miss chan say so
at less this time i am going to have hell lot of workload.

sian going to be damn stress

i am damn lonely now

Yeah trm is finally coming i nv thought i was going to be so fast
but looks like my time in fairfield has ended for good i can nv
be a student of fairfield again after trm so sad but i still must
face it cos this is part of life.

THANK U FAIRFIELD FOR EVERYTHING U HAVE DONE
IN MY LIFE.

THANK U SO SO SO MUCH

I hope i can c the people i wan to c
tmr all my friends pls let my c u guys
for the last time.

I going to miss u all like mad:(
miss u all T.T

yesterday night yeah i final sleep and
i it was damn wonderful i nv thought
i would miss sleep nicely with on dreams
or nightmare.

today i had my cpa paper 1 and it was ok
not very hard overall DO ABLE
yeah:) ONLY 1 more to go D&T:(

I will not give up on u guys but u better give
me ur support or i am leave u guy to ur own wits
ok dont disappoint me anymore i am back and
this time i am going to be more scary then last
time u all better be ready to get my scolding
and this time alot more than last time.

CLIFFORD IS BACK AND MORE SCARY
BE READY !!!!!
HAHAHA

wow i have not been sleeping properly
for sometime

i dont know why
but i hope time can heal

yesterday night took out all the pic
and thing i have and look at it and
think back about the 4 years i spent
in BB the things that come back
is very sad cos alot thing i though i was
good at that time may not turn out to
be wat i have planed and alot of things
when out of control when i am not there
sad right when u r there u can make sure
all the thing run nicely but when u r gone
all the thing go out of control and is like
the hard work u put in is wasted.

i have not much hope in them anymore
now i am waiting to go back and make
thing where they should belong.

tried of dispointment by u guys
i tried so hard to teach u guys but
only 2 out of 10 of u guys put my words
into ur brains why r u all like this cant
u all grow up and be a leader.

GROW UP PLS

yesterday night cant sleep again
damn i really nid to sleep damn
tried but i just cant get myself to
sleep damn it :(

wat is stopping to sleep i dont know
but i really want to know

SOMEONE TELL ME PLS

yesterday when to sit the singapore flyer it was damn high
and the view at the top is the best after that when to eat
dinner yap that is all

today mug the whole day cos trm is math paper 2 i bet is
going to be damn hard but i am ok quite ready for it hmm
lets cross our finger that the paper is not going to that hard
as i think it would.

trm is breadfast with my best friend haha i guess this is a
make up for last friday and i am so sorry i even lie to u
about that thing i got my own reason pls belive me i don't
mean it at to lie to u pls forgive me ok :S

life and death is just a line apart

and here i wan to pray for the gal from my sch that just pass on
even thought i dont know her well but even so i still am praying
for her.

lord i just ask u can help the girl and bring her back from hell
and go to ur kingdom and lord bless her family and the ppl
around her to over come her death and move on with their
life.

in jesus name
AMEN

look like tonight i am going to have a sleepless
night again shit this is the 5th night i nid to
sleep but my brain just keep thinking about
the stupid thing shit why cant i get over it
and just go and sleep damn it i wan to sleep
but i can.

why why why
i bloody hell don't know the ans