damn piss off by my mother she keep giving
me a black face when i reach home for the pass
few days cos i was reaching home around 11 and
yesterday i almost reach home at 12.30 am and
she damn unhappy about it and she keep scolding
me .

i really dont know how to talk to her so this moring
i call mr mark and ask him to help me with my problem
i hope everything would go fine when i go on my bb trip.

i love my job and i know i dont look at the time when i work
and i am also i very workaholic person and i also dont how
to talk to ppl nicely.

friend i am sorry i have nothing to say all i wan is the best of u
and a smooth time at work.

lord help me and sovle all my problem and may my friendship
grow as we work and let my problem be gone in ur name.

Look at me i work up at 5 am and i cant sleep anymore cos
my whole heart is filled with alot of feelings.

yesterday i when alot to buy the tress for the SGB for today
and lucky i when cos i learn my own mistake i have been pushing
my boss to hard and i must stop doing that.

thank u for all ur comment by miss chan after yesterday night i will
do my very to be less pushily with hoong sheng.

Pain has gone as the time fly
but the scar on my hand severs
as reminder of my past.

Corrinne May - Scars (Stronger For Life)




I just want to run
Just want to hide away
Close my eyes to your gaze
Just want to leave
Don't want to hear them say
"You're no good at this"

When the world swirls with naysayers
Broken wings and torn pages
The road ahead
Drowning in my tears

Break me open
Tear me down
Into pieces
Broken crumbs
On the ground
You can mould and shape me
In your image
Breathe your life
You know I need it
Scars make us stronger for life

Losing myself
Gaining it back again
Forging strength from weakness
All that I am
All that I'm meant to be
Melting in your hand

Let the world swirl with naysayers
Pickled hearts and sour faces
What is real is what I cannot see

Break me open
Tear me down
Into pieces
Broken crumbs
On the ground
You can mould and shape me
In your image
Breathe your life
You know I need it
Scars make us stronger for life

Cut away
All within me
That won't bear fruit
Cut away
All within me

Cut away
All within me
That won't bear fruit
Cut away
All within me

Break me open
Tear me down
Into pieces
Broken crumbs
On the ground
You can mould and shape me
In your image
Breathe your life
You know I need it
Scars make us stronger

Scars make us stronger for life

Yesterday after work when for a department head meeting
i was damn scare cos i n v pre get ready myself lucky ivan chan
also very to back me up i was to busy with the wish tag and some other
things and nv really think about the back bifte meeting but overall the
meeting was a very good wan we spend about 2 and the half hr to talk
in to the details and i also got bacak a few very good ideal and i think it
may work.

Although i am one of the youngest to work there but i nv let my age be
a barred to open and share my thought with the other older department.

To my friend dont worry so much dont know anything must ask me dont
keep quite ok rmb i am always there behide u just turn ur head back and i would
be there awaiting to lend a helping hand.

may GOD be with the whole SGB CREW and may the whole project run
smoothly in ur hands and let us enjoy the time we spend in there.

today i am in a really really bad mood i also
dont know why i just dont feel like talk or
do anything i dont know why?

why do this botther me so much?
i also dont know

i just dont feel like myself today.
i wan a break i wan to take a breath.

a unhappy day at work T.T

trm is my first time wearing formal wear at hq
i dont how la abit scare cos very long nv wear leh.
i hope i dont look damn weird in long shirt and pants
and shoes.

yesterday and today when shopping with my mother
damn long nv go out with her and today she told me
alot of thing i and i also share about my working life
with her hmm it was kind of nice la.

i bought alot of new shirts and pants damn nice la
i damn long nv do shopping alot of place change so
much.

yesterday my mother bought us out to eat cos
my tem maid last day and the new maid is coming
on monday.

i really hope that the new maid is as good as the tem
maid i really hope so cos i dont wan every time change
maid damn sian wan leh.

now i am going to rest and get ready to start
the busy month coming up a head i hope
i can manage hmm i think i can cos i got
2 ppl that can really help me.

i am not really ready now but i will when the
time come.

leave the past and enter to the new future
with the ppl i love and care.


haha today is my 200 post yeah its been some it since
i started to blog i use to think blogging was a waste of
time but now 1 day dont blog also cannot make it even
sometime i write already put i just nv post up.

blogging somehow is part of my life and i am enjoying
it to the fullest and it a place to distress myself from all
the rubbish thing in my life.

hmm today was the same at work just keep doing paperwork
but it was kind of fun cos its also helping the needy dont u think
its wonderful can earn money and also helping the poor i enjoy it
and i think everyone that is sgb crew also having the same mind
set and that is helping the needy and putting others before themself.

yeah i got a pay increment yeah quite happy
today i got yiting and sheng wei to help me
yiting was damn good and sheng wei was
slacking damn it la but anyway things still
was done at the end and i was happy left work
around 4.30 and reach home about 5 and when to
rest for alit while and then work up at 7.30 to have
dinner i dont eat much for dinner i dont know why
i am lossing my appetite maybe the working stress.

trm i got yiting to help me again so i was quite happy
at less i got someone to help me out and she is free and
another thing is she also joining SGB as well and she will
be working with me at pa as IC as well cool right :D

yesterday after work rush down to 79 and when i reach there
they were about to start BBQ it was ok la but when they reach
night part and the night meeting i was damn lost cos i dont know
where to go and i feel so extra then i when to the hall and start
to talk to my friend and after talking i feel much.

when i and the others BB primiers were having our meeting i feel
like i totally dont belong in there at all cos i feel their world and my
world is so apart and wat they r talking is about gal and sex and i
totally dont like it maybe i am not that DIRTY kind of guys so that
kind of put me out of the group.

today when to sentosa to have the game for the sec 3 NCO and it
was fun but i was being throw down into the water and we had hell
lot of fun in the water but when we get out of the water and they
started to push me on the sand and i was coved with sand damn
mess but fun.

although this is my 2nd NCO planing but i am still very new to the whole
primer thing and i told myself give time for ppl to get to know me and for
me to get use to them.

slowly working toward for the better:)

today is like damn tried cos we work non stop till
and right after lunch is back to work and i am not
behind timing i am suppost to finish all the 10k of
wish tag by today but i did not make it so i have to
go back on monday and finish it about 3k more
to all thanks to xing ya , glen mok, jeremy lim, marcus tan
and a bigger thank u to sheng wei and zhi xiang becos they
stay till then end of the day i really dont know how to finish
5k without all of ur help THANK U :)

working non stop is not fun at all but today sheng wei was
the person that bring alot of joy to our woking offices cos
we were keep making fun of sheng wei and his red face and
we also call him tomato face i know is damn bad but i know
sheng wei can take it cos he is use to it.

i also tried the super staker burger at bk wow is damn big
and damn nice u all should try it man.

xing ya when working with so much guys may be alit stress
but i hope u dont mind and the next time we come out lunch is
on me ok haha :)

today is day for me but i enjoy working with u guys
THANK U SOO MUCH :D


thank u ralene and christ teo
for helping yesterday at BBHQ
i dont know wat will happen if
u all nv come and help me yesterday
really thank u.

today going to be damn busy as well
got about 7 k more to go before i can
call it done yesterday ralene and christ
help me cut about 3k i hope to day with more
ppl i can do more cutting.

DAMN TRIED
yesterday meeting started at 7.30 and end around 11.30
i reach home around 12am damn wat a long meeting was
it but at less got to know the new member of the team and
i forgot to tell u guys that i was change to PA cos they nid
PPL to handle that place so i was put in it and to be honset
this year we r lacking to manpower they is only 3 op team member
plus me so i am damn lack for manpower.i also got 10 PPA but they
all coming at different timing so not good at all.

they cut my pay due to AIA is pulling out from sgb this year we got
about 20,000 ppl i nid to send the PA bags to and about 1,000 homes
if i am not wrong there should about 21,000+ /-.
so it going to be damn stress cos i nid to do my homework well and get
ready wat is coming at me.

so u can c that my hands r damn full so if u wan to meet me pls tell me
in adv cos i nid to plan nicely before i can leave.
guess wat i am damn stress but i am happy cos this is something very meaningful
athought i dont get pay very well but is something that i can help to bring
joy to they poor and the 2 pa bags that we r going to give out can last them 6 months
so to them is somthing that they r looking forward to get. In this time alot of things
r too X for some ppl to even buy a pack of rice that why there is SGB to help out
the poor once a year and athought this year we lost AIA and 100K due to the
shares things but they r still going to run it.

after blogging i got to meet up the awards ppl i hope my Ic will be there.

I AM DAMN TRIED
never sleep sinces yeatday night
damn i really nig to get some sleep
but everytime i lay down i keep
thing of the problem i know i cant
sleep till all the problem is solves

i wish i can have another break but
i cant cos too much work on my table
working with the ppl u care alot is kind
of hard.

After a good day resting i got alot of bad bad news
i dont why is this happening and i cant help at
all.

today i recived a call from brandon tan and he
told me that 2 boys nv go and 2 boy got send back
home and out of the 4 of them 3 of them is
my student i always think my student r the
best and they will not give up till the very end
i dont know why have they give up on founders
i wonder have they all forgot wat have i thought
them u all r the wan the follow me through the
hard time part of BB and that is NDP.

have u all forgot the hard work we put into working
and our best in NDP07.

as i say before i am nv going to give up on them but
now they r giving up themselves and they all doing it behind
my back wat is this man. here am i trying my very best
helping u all there r u all throwing away all my hard work
i dont think this is fair to me.

i once told all the boys that went 4 NDP07 if u nid any help
call me and i will help u guys have u all forgot i really dont know
wat to comment on u guys haven u guys learn anything from me
u make me so disappointed in u guys.

i dont think tonight i can sleep at all althought i know is stupid cos
the things have happen but my mind keep thinking about it i am
sad not becos u all r not getting founders anymore i am sad why
have u all give up and why u all nv fight till the very end.

a very big hit for me today and i dont how many more is going to
come but all i know is i must stand firm keep every going cos there is
still ppl on this ship that nid my help.

ppl that have left this ship i still welcome u back on this ship cos there
is still hope dont give up cos i am nv going to give up on u cos even when
the ship is sinking the captain cant leave unless he is sure that everyone
have left the ship that is being a good captain.

today also wake up damn early to go take my new passport
after finish taking i when down to funan and started to shop
around i very long nv do shopping on my own hmm today
bought a few thing.

if there is something i have learn from my past is i my give
myself a break and do wat i enjoy ,relax and dont think about
work just do wat i like and dont care so must first.

wow funan got alot of new things and i also get a first hand preview
of the new DS i damn cool but damn X but i was on the website
they said next year singapore than got i dont know how they so
fast can get there hands on it but it looks nice.

today is damn enjoyable no work,stress or wat so ever just myself
and myself hmm although is damn fun but i spend a heck lot of money .
next week i am going to be damn stress cos not much free time for myself
i was suppost to go out with all my friends but i cant now cos too much work
left undone hmm that why i am going to work overtime so i can at less go
the week after next week.

I am really asking myself again and again
how am i going to solve this damn hurdle
how do i solve this damn fking problem
in award i am the only person left with
them i cant give up on now not even
mr chua is going to help them now i
am really standing alone and facing the
problem this sucks i hate to alone but
wat can i do i care and love them so
much that i feel so hurt when they do
such things to hurt themself and awards
i dont know why do i care so much also
maybe i have spent alot of time with them
and toward them is no longer my Boys but
they r like my friends and some of them r
even like my brothers from another family

the more i care for them the more they lack sometimes
i wonder is this wat i wan thing to go till they leave bb
i dont know i really very lost and helpless i really care
too much to give up on them

GUYS i love u as much as i love my own brother
but that why wat every u r doing is hurting me
u know.

The ones that you love the most are usually
the ones that hurt you the most but i am still
going to stay strong cos every ship needs a
captain to reach its where ever it needs to go.

Today was my 2nd last das lesson hmm
a place i am going to be leaving this year
sad dont why is year have been a very sad
year for me damn alot things have happen
but more bad then good.

hmm next week is going to be my last lesson
then i will be leaving das hmm i guess i would
miss all the ppl over there i guess.

time has past so fast and soon everything will be
gone just like time fly.

standing here and now is not something fun and sometimes
i almost give up on living but at the end i somehow manage
to carry on walking hmm i guess is god that put ppl there
to help me i guess.

next week will be meeting alot of high rank ppl
sian sian not going to enjoy any of that but i guess
this is part of my job sian nvm do it for the money.

today i woke up at 6 am and when down to
yishun just becos i was worry that why i when down
i can choose to go out with my friends yet i have
make a choose to go down but when one of the
boy told me that my awards IC was still sleeping and
lazy to come i was damn angry.

i am not in BB anymore yet i can wake up at 6am
to rush down to yishun to bring the boys there
and u the award IC is sleep at home wat is this man
if not for the Boys i would nv u help i would nv step in
and help u damn lucky but not everything i can
come in and help u know.

if i know this is going to happen i would nv put u
as the IC of awards i would fight to have someone
that i wanted to be the IC

mr chua u have make another big mistake i told
u that CT should be in awards and not drill and
mr chua if have take my words today this kind
of problem will not happen.

why i even bother to help
i should have been firm and nv when down
to yishun to bring the Boys there.
U dont even worth me helping at ALL

Today i have been let down by the person
who i thought will nv dare to let me down
and today is also the day i hope all the hope
in awards.

to awards 1st IC
if i u nv meet that girl will u still be like
this i wonder? u really let me down i feel like
u wasted all my time i spend in teaching u and
u r the only few ppl in my life i thought will nv
hurt yet u r the one of the few that can really cut me
i dont how i teach u anymore.


yesterday when to c my gastric doctor and she
told me that my gastric is better and i nv get scolding
haha but she say i still nid to take good care of my own
gastric cos is still very weak.

but after seeing my doctor i really wan to have a drink
but i was stop by my mother and got scolding from her:(
damn i still haven got any drink for damn long i miss my
drink :)

today i when to ICA to make my passport by i did not make
it in time but i when to challenger to but check out something
and when to buy a dvd player cos at home just spoiled so nid a
new player.

after buying when back home and try out my dvd player and
guess wat my dvd player come with a usb port means i can
play my music and blast it with my tv speakers yeah
but i guess if i do that when my mother is at home she is going
to scream at me hmm i must wait till monday to try blasting my
wonderful emo music.
yeah cant wait to blast my music till ppl complain

i rate myself 45% out of 100%
hmm as this few day past i think i am starting to forget wat happen
and let myself to move and i can final start to enjoy my holiday.

u all must be guess why did i only rate 45% cos there is something
wanted to post out but i hold back hmm i guess i still cant fully face it
yet nvm i will just have to let GOD AND TIME do the healing for me
haha:)