ThiS iS My LiFe

2009-07-31T17:01:00.002+08:00

its been more then a month since i last blogged xD
cause my com is dead and i just got my laptop on tue so
now i am back blogging alot of things have change and some changes
is really not that bad after all.

hehe guess where i am now STARBUCKS

2009-06-08T23:50:00.002+08:00

wow it been a super long time since i last blog
nvm abt that i have been sick and i just finish awards camp 2009 last
week wow i haven had a hike for along time and it was fun having to hiked with
the sec 1s so small yet keep pushing on and that really something nice to c how the
sec 1s can be push to a new lvl and its good to c that happening in the BB.

i really miss hiking suddenly it remind me of obbd that place is where i hiked in the
forest for some reason i still like that place and it still have that strong roots in my heart
maybe its because of all the stupid thing we do over there mah but now all that is left
is pic and memory sad but that is life.

wow i sound so emo but i am not i am just missing the things i have lost and just maybe i
should let all the past be the past haha nvm abt that.

after the camp when out with audrey to do a HALF and HOUR shopping but in end it became
a 5hr shopping time and i was like half dead and yet i keep moving i also dont know how i did it
but it was crazy and fun.

the next day i was like crap i cant walk + i am sick wow its the worst feeling ever man totally shack to the core but later it got better and i when out with her and it was a time of sharing
i kind of open my heart and share my life with her and i haven done that for a long long time
and it feel really great ILU my gosh i say it out man i haven told her that before but i guess she know dont really say i love u so much now adays i am doing it not by word but by action and i find that better. i guess haha

that all for now

2009-05-23T23:23:00.002+08:00

sorry haven got the time to blog the past few weeks but i got
now. haha

thing have been going very wonderful for me.

1st my bday when super well i had my darling,my BB boys and alot of other ppl
i cant rmb that make my birthday a super wonderful wan.its been sometime since
so many ppl give me such a wonderful bday thanks man.

2nd sch have been stressful cos exam have been going on this past few weeks and
there have been lots of test and i somehow almost cant make it but i did it with the
strength of god.

3rd was ytd farewell it was very fun and dity cos we played stupid games and i enjoy
alot and it damn fun and everything when very well and its good but the sad part is that
i know i am going to miss the sec 4s cos is them that i am close too in bb but now i kind of
lost them and thats sad but i hope the ppl there some of them would be primers and i am
really going to pray about it.

i here by wan to thank everyone in and out of my life and of cos GOD he is the 1 and only 1 that
can make all this work out for me and i thank him for that.

2009-05-11T22:00:00.002+08:00

last Monday 9am my grandmother pass away i haven been blog for the past week due to alot of factor and a its has been very busy for me and my family the whole wake started on monday and ended on wed and the next day i have exam and its have been a tiring week and emotion also very hurt.

after all this time i have learn that God is really powerful and he have really bless me and my family the whole time at the wake. sorry really tired i just cant blog anymore idk why but i hope i can be back to me before everything has happen.

2009-05-03T21:54:00.002+08:00

now i trust the lord more then before he have given
me the will to stay strong and holding my family together
and alot more things.

today my grandmother is on oxygen tank cos she cant breath
by herself anymore and the doc say she only got 3 day left but
somehow is have been through more then 3days and its by GOD
graces that she have live so long.she should have been long gone
its my god that she have till this day and even i know that i am
going to miss her but i also know that she is with the LORD and
is safe and she will be enjoying there.

things have been tiring for my family and myself but we all believed
that god is looking after us from wherever he is.

ppl reading my blog pls help to pray for my family and my grandmother
thank u so much.

2009-05-01T19:19:00.002+08:00

today is the 3rd day and i am still waiting no longer worried or sad over the whole thing
cos God is in control and just holding on HIS words and trusting full.today i cant visit my
grandmother due to the pig flu and singapore is on orange light now so my mother just
wanted me to stay home and rest after been so tired from all the thing and studies and
so i obey my mother.

today did nothing much just sleep alot,study abit and did some praying for my whole family.
that is my day.

ppl out there that have read my blog pls help pray for my family,grandmother.
thank u all so much.

2009-05-01T00:10:00.002+08:00

Ydt my dad call me halfway of my class that my grandmother is in criteria stage
and she may just leave for GOD house anytime and i rush down and i was really
scare,worried and lost at first but after praying at the hospital suddenly like god has
spoken to me that he is in charge i should not be feeling this way and he just let me
clam down and i somehow felt a strong peace in my heart and i stop being scare,worried
and lost.

after that seeing my grandmother till around 7pm i got send home by father cos that next
day i still got sch but at that moment i was ready to leave and i came back home and after
bathing i when to my room and pray for very long but i kind of lost track of time and i kind
of talk to God and after praying i somehow was ready that my grandmother is leaving and
i should not be sad but to be re joying in his name cos my grandmother is in his house and
that somehow make me feel super happy and relive.

so after that i when to bed and sleep.

Today when i reach sch and i just when into the classroom and my CA came and told me
that i was going to study at SP from next term on and i was totally shock cos i nv thought
that i can study poly while studying at ite and this was new i am kind of the first few to try
it out.

ppl out there i hope that after reading can help me pray for not only my grandmother but my whole family thank u for praying.

GOD Bless all of us

2009-04-28T19:10:00.002+08:00

2nd phase test is coming soon its on 7 of may man time really fly so fast one moment it was just abt to start and the next is near to mid year and everyone has start to really getting to work and even jokes in my class have been cutting quite alot and everyone maybe not everyone but most of them r mugging so i must also put 110% in to mugging too.

i did not bad for term 1 but i must carry on work if i wan to be the top of my course and get myself into a good poly thats my goal and i am going to work hard to it but at the same time i am going to
enjoy myself in ite cos i dont wan to be worn out like last time and go all emo and start doing stupid thing all again!!!.

today was damn broing and very dry at LPD lesson i was not forces and i kind of left my class when the teacher was teaching haha i hardly do that if i ever do it means that teacher is really broing man still got a long way to go man i must start to learn how to change and try to enjoy LPD lesson.

2009-04-27T21:02:00.002+08:00

haha i having been blogging for the past 2 weeks cos
i am just super lazy to type but my life alot of happy and
super happening stuff happening in my life cool right
but somethings r not really yet so cant tell u guys yet :X hehe

hmm although most things happen is fun around me but there still
alot of unhappy thing is happening at the same time and some of it
is really super headache to settle man.

i dont know is it suay or wat sia cos there is another stalker in my class
again histroy repeat itself and that sucks but wat to do i cant stop it from
happening all i can do is try to stop that guy and support the girl when where
that guy do stupid things to her.

sometimes i wonder why ppl like to stalks or do stupid things to the person they
like and it just plain stupid i find it myself i dont know why and i dont think i can
ever understand their wat r they thinking at all but i guess this is part of life where
u meet all kinds of ppl and u just have to take it and carry on with ur own life.

ok la i think i should stop saying this kind of stuff lets talk abt more fun stuff o
should i say crazy stuff i just did something super crazy on sat cos i lost my key and
my father drove my mother to c my grandmother so both of them not at home and
i really needed to go home and so i when to the back of the blk and started climbing back home from the back of the kitchen cool right i can be the next spiderman yeah man lucky my mother dont know if not i 100% GG cos she will scold me like man but lucky i only stay 2nd floor so not to back quite easy to climb

haha cool right i can climb back home u climb back to ur house?
haha:)

yo sis c i have updated my blog ok and it a long post so stop complaining that i nv
update ok.

2009-04-19T20:20:00.002+08:00

after the sch holidays have been really busy in sch and at bb alot of things
have come and go but overall its was fun.

i been studying like mad cos exam is near and got alot more to study not fun
r but my classmate have make studying fun by cracking up stupid jokes and
other lame stuff.

i just when out with her although its was really fun time but it somehow lack
of something that i dont know how to say it out i just felt different then before
maybe i nid more time know the person.

take it slowly and let me know u kk :)

lord teach me and show me how to grow in u

2009-04-11T01:13:00.002+08:00

i had a wonderful time talking to glen its been sometime since i last talk to him
a really a heart to heart talk ok this may sound very gay but glen is my best friend
he has stay by me even as most of the ppl left me and he is always there to cheer me
up when i am all emo and down.thanks glen mok.

today when out with jojo and david ong even thought i wanted to meet her up but she is
not free sian i know that i turn u down that i am wrong but for now my heart has really no
place for u now give me sometime and let thing cool down abit ok. i really dont mean to hurt
pls dont be mad at me ok rmb i am still there for u with u nid me.

stop and think about wat i really wan

2009-04-09T18:46:00.002+08:00

BLAZE camp was wonderful have learn alot about

being a good leader even thought i am leader at first

but there is still alot of things i have learn and it was

a good camp over and my group has the most stupid

name ever tapeless green and even my group did not

do so well but i think all of them done well and they also

learn alot of thing from cos all of them is going to be student

leaders.

the lord say that nv to hate ur own brothers and there is still

ppl hating each others and even thought dont is not really my problem

and even ppl hate me for going wat i do to solve the problem i am

still going to do it cos it may just be the only way to stop the problem

now i am going to stand firm then before i am not going to back down

anymore i cant just stand by the side and do nothing about it.

i dont know why yc wan to do such thing but i know he has a reson why

did he created such thing but it really shock me when i heard about it and

i really wan to know wat happen.

Lord i ask that u help me to guide me through this time give the wisdom to

solove this problem.

yeah this sat my grandmother and grandfather is getting baptize the lord has

really bless my family thank u.

2009-04-03T01:38:00.005+08:00

Yesterday when to meet up with Brandon tan and really sat down and really have a good chat with him and after talking to him i felt really down cos he remain of myself last time where i am the hated 1 during primary sch i know how he feels and i do pity him cos i was once in that
spot where all the people around me left me and i am all alone and the only that brought few ppl that really care about me was the ppl at church even thought i am very emo back then but they still care for me and give me support and with that kind of support i got back up and started to go to Christ and today i am going to the the support of this friend of mine to me the BB boy is no longer just a BB boy but he has become my friend and i wan to care,love and support the way my church friends have supported me and brought me back to Christ.

Even as Brandon tan classmate is going to give him a hard time in class but i know that God and
his holy spirit will bless him and heal his relationship with his classmate.i here by ask everyone that have read my post help to pray for this friend of mine and i thank u everyone that have
prayed for this friend of mine and may God also bless u in ur own life. Amen

Trm is class 4I,08 class bbq i hope that trm i can catch up with the my other classmate that i have very long nv talk to them YEAH :)

If any 1 have any prayer request pls tag me.

2009-04-01T01:38:00.002+08:00

i damn lazy to post the past few day maybe cos my life
has been abit BORING but things have change and i kind
of like it maybe because i have found alot more about God
and life and the way of being a true blood Christian and not
a Luke warm Christian things have been changing.

i am a person that dont really like changes but somehow start
to like changes not because they all go in fav of me and some change
bring me to a higher lvl and not just staying at where i am a being
the same lvl and jsut being good at there.

After being a primer at 33rd for the past 3 months have it has really brought
me to my senses and its not really about the thing I but its about the ppl
around me and impacting the boys and bring christ into the boys and i also have
learned the thing I do its for God and this ppl not for my own.

i think that this year is going to be very very good year not just myself but everyone.

my grandmother is still very sick and i ask that everyone that has read my post help
to pray for her.thanks

2009-03-25T11:13:00.002+08:00

I AM ALMOST BORED TO DEATH R

this 2 day i have done nothing just keep
chating on msn and watching tv super boring
life cos i am very use to being busy now ask me
to sit at home and slack abit cant take the type of
life man it just suck.

super looking forward for the camp on the 6-8 cant
wait for it to come and i am also thinking about going
for Charmain BBQ party but abit not nice if i don't do 4
my own class but i got 4 other class hmm don't know
later call Dorcas and ask her where she got go or not.

2009-03-19T00:07:00.002+08:00

i feel so so so hard to find balance between friends and my duty
i like to be in the group but the thing they do sometimes crash
with wat i have to do and i have to pick my duty cos i am force
to as a leader i have to stand firm and do wat is needed for the
task and at the sametime i have to be a good friend and not be
so harsh with them.

i have been asking myself to balance this 2 thing together and
also putting CHRIST in the middle of my life i really dont know
i am lost not becos wat has happen. i am lost cos i dont know how
so solve the problem.

i am really asking GOD to help me to balance my life cos i know with
my own strenght i will not make it.

ok i should blog about more happy things

man today has been a really really busy day for me but i have tried to
enjoy myself in wat i do and i turned out quite fun after beside wat has
happen in sch overall i enjoy the most is the part where played with tang
and marc it was really super fun i have nv played with them so crazy before
but it was 110% fun and i really let go of my problem and worry for that few hr.

i think God has been testing me this week with alot of thing and i guess he will give
me the ans to my problem across the week.

feeling: semi emo

2009-03-16T14:16:00.001+08:00

yeah i have pass my phase test but did not do very well
but its ok all i nid to do is work hard man lucky i pass man
if not i will not be able to make it to poly man.

on sat when for BBAQ jp 2009 was like super fun now i am
really starting to put down and enjoy wat am i doing even thought
i am just play a small part in it man.

ok i have think about it and i am going to pon sch on thruday cos
of march camp so this is my very first time poning sch man scary leh.
nvm know god will proved for me.

2009-03-12T17:14:00.003+08:00

yes so close to hoilday i can almost c myself free from sch work
and exam.

today i had my m1 phase test is was like super hard and i think i
am going to fail. today i was told that i am send to Malacca to work
over there for 3 weeks i was like ok yeah i am going overseas to work and this is my first time working overseas and end of the year i am going to German to do work attachment cool right
how many ppl can be like me the sch send me here send me there but abit stress when so many ppl look up to me.

guess wat my grandmother is going to be a christian
she told me that she wants to be a christian and she
is really recovering really fast and it is all God power
of healing that was on her that why she was able to
be heal so fast.

I thank GOD for all the help that he have given my
grandmother in the past weeks.

2009-03-08T12:30:00.002+08:00

this week had been a super tiring week for me
i am like totally worn out but at less i got alot
of good classmate to bring joy to me.

yesterday was wai kit birthday and we when to
west mall after church and i was wai kit 1st time
eatting subway.

i dont know how to face u anymore.

2009-03-05T18:58:00.002+08:00

yesterday when for class teambulid event
it was just a lunch at pizze hut only but the
fun thing is we camhore so much that my cam
has no more space to take anymore pic cool
right.

today was ok

i keep telling myself to hang on but i am quite
tired of hang on with u and all u do is making
me more and more piss off with u only. is like
we live in 2 world now u r not the person that
i know last time.

somehow i have the key to ur brain and know
wat the hack r u think about man.u make me
crazy.

The higher hope for someone the more the person
will hurt u.

2009-02-27T23:52:00.002+08:00

haha to tired to post so i nv post yesterday yeah
hmm yesterday when back to Hq to buy uniform
parts for the sec 1 when i was going there i took mrt to
orchard and on the way there i when suddenly remember
when i was with my x and i can still remember wat i told
her then and i took the same bus that i took with her before
and it just felt like so fresh is like i just left her yesterday like
that.

ok i am stop say about the past and look forward.

today when back to 33rd to have sq outing it was
quite fun we when to sci cental but the sad thing we
only when in for half and hour only so alot of thing nv cover

sci center is loved
&
i wan to go there and spend my day
to play with the weird things over there
haha lol :X

yesterday and today
my grandmother is alot alot better
thank for praying for her and ppl
pls keep praying for her thank u so
much.

ok quiz time : wat does 8447-47-5263 stands for
happy guessing haha

2009-02-25T22:33:00.002+08:00

today was super fun but damn tiring cos have
nafa test today i pass all and just nice make it
for sliver award year although cant get go but
i am happy with sliver. andnow i am having muscle
ache all over my body my back hurt the most.

today my grandmother is look alot better thx for
all the ppl that is help me to pray for my grandmother
and pls continue to help me pray for my grandmother.

2009-02-24T22:34:00.002+08:00

today i when back to hospital to c my grandmother and
she look better at less she can talk to me and she is very
weak but looking back from yesterday till today she has
really grown better alot and prayer is really powerful and
if u have read my blog pls help me pray for my grandmother
too thx.

hmm today sch was ok la about the same stuck at the lab about
5hr to do work and prepare for facetest that is coming up next week
so alit worry cos very long nv have test but i think i can make it.
wish me good luck with my up coming test.
sch holiday is coming super soon it starts on 21st of march and is 3 week
holiday but i still nid to study cos right after holiday there will be a exam.
so it means i nid to mug again haha
looks like i have become a mugger.

o ya i just done my first math test last friday almost forgot about it and
this week getting back my paper i hope to get at less 75 and above but i
know is abit hard cos i dont know how to do some of the qus.

clifford wants to watch movie but cant find the time
and the someone to watch with him someone pity him
watch with him a movie before he go crazy.
haha this feels so funny.

2009-02-23T20:35:00.002+08:00

it been super long since i last blog alot of thing have happen
good and bad also got let not talk about the bad thing cos is
over and i am still happily standing here and i am glad about
that.

u must be wonding wat the hack is clifford ang up to so long nv blog
i have been busy with sch,BB and lastly LKY award.

1st school
ROX to the core i enjoy everyday in sch althought alot of stupid things
have happen buts is damn fun my class keep joking in class that sometime
i can hardly study at all.

next my BB
just re join bb as a CLT yes i know i am a bb freak no nid to tell me
i know that and pls stop calling me that ok. in bb i am the sec 1 primer
and its quite cool u get to mix with the sec 1 and they r all so funny and
cute (ps: i am not pillowfile) and starting to take up more pose as the year
is coming.

hmm 1 of the more stressful thing for me is LKY AWARD is like
i say before i nv ever throught i would even make it but somehow i
did so i thank god for it. i have jsut handled up my form and it now
up to God will where i get it or not.

lastly i hope that everyone that have read my blog help to pray for my
grandmother she have just enter the hospist and she is not doing so well
so i really hope that u guys can help to pray for her health.thx

2009-02-11T22:28:00.003+08:00

i lost the sense of belong at home and i dont feel like going
back if i got a chouse i will not go back. they always say that at
best place is to be at home but for me i dont think so at all.

i just feel so unwanted at home really if i am able to leave my
house i would maybe u all may think that i am joking but i am
not.

idk how long am i able to stand.

GOING CRAZY

2009-02-10T23:00:00.002+08:00

haha yesterday spend most of my time in the stupid lab to have photo shooting
for my ite and it just not fun at all cos i smile so much that i have cram on my
face for the first but is a new thing la i nv get to do before.

yesterday night also when back to fairfield to have primers councils its my first
councils so it was quite an eye opening for me and the rest of the new primers and
i also know wat i have to do for the rest of the year and my role as a primer in 33rd coy
and the councils at stated at 8pm and end at 10pm.

yestaday i also started my first day for my masterlife book its really cool
the way the person worte it and it just speak alot to me and i am going to
finish my masterlife still got 11more week till the end of masterlife and alot
of thing to learn from it.

today really nothing much but sch and today i got alot of oversea student join my class
and some of them cant even read english i wonder how r they going to study here in singapore
all the best to all of them man.

yap that is all for yesterday and today^^

2009-02-08T22:49:00.002+08:00

yeah i am final done with filling up for my LKY form and trm going to
meet mr ho to c where the got problem anot with the form and then
all is up to God where i get it anot i am not going to stress about at all.

oya trm is photoshooting for my ite poster sian i really dont feel like doing
it cos i am going to be poster boy soon sian anyway i guess non of u r going to
c my face on the poster.

today i did nothing but slp cos i am really lacking for slp after more then 12
hr of wonder slp i still feel alit tried so i am going back to slp nite nite for now
la

2009-02-06T23:00:00.001+08:00

stress r i got only 2 day to fill up all the
form and hand it up crap i nv though i
would be so rush la crap.

anyway i am still going to go for where i am
i getting it or not jsut wait for my good new
everyone.

haha nid to go back and rush out my form.

2009-02-05T22:38:00.002+08:00

yeah i got my new crumpler when out with
lu yi to get my crumpler and did some shopping
and after shopping when to seat down at JOC to
chit chat.

lord thank u for being there for me when i most
nid u and i know that u will be walking with me.

2009-02-04T21:00:00.002+08:00

guess wat i have make it for a award
that i nv thought that i could ever get
but by dont know somehow i got it is
like super dupper cool.

feeling super hyper about going for the
award at the same time i feel a pinch
in my heart.

will u walk with me?

2009-02-01T21:18:00.002+08:00

i feel super empty and sad.
i really feel like crying out everything
but all my tears have dry up and my
heart is still bleeding.

2009-02-01T03:24:00.002+08:00

today is baoling bday party is was ok
la i help out quite a bit so quite happy about
ya

at heart i just got so much to tell u but i can no
long share to u no matter wat happen i still wants
to be there 4 u T.T

bleeding from inside to out
painful thats all i can say
sad right one min u r there
the next u r gone.

2009-01-26T21:59:00.002+08:00

today is the first day of CNY
i had a great day when around singapore
visting all the ppl so fun.

yesterday night again a super crazy dream
crap wats happening to me man:x
i am super duper freak out is the 2nd night
that i am having about the same dream crap:X

wow i nid to get that stupid dream out off my brains.

ROAR ROAR ROAR

2009-01-25T10:29:00.002+08:00

yesterday night i had a totally off night sleeping
i had a super scary dream i nv had such a dream
before it just scares me to the core after i woke up
i just pray and i felt there was peace in my heart.

i nv thought that u would be so import in my life
and if one day that i lost u for good wat will happen
to me really that dream just brought me to think that
should care and love the ppl around me more.

2009-01-20T21:10:00.002+08:00

VERY VERY BUSY this week my whole week is pack
up to its bream and i can hardly cop with all the things
that is going on i barely make it man.

i am super drain out and its only Tuesday lord grant
me strength and the will to finish up watever i have
started.

2009-01-14T22:57:00.002+08:00

Its more painful to be on the side line watching
ur friends suffer and there is nothing i can do
its just hurt me alot and whenever i am talking
to my friend and they start to breakdown on the
phone or they r lost and dont know wat to do it just
break my hearts into pieces.

LORD I ASK THAT U TAKE OVER ME AND HEAL
MY BROKEN HEART AND AT THE SAME TIME
GUIDE EVERY SINGLES OF MY FRIENDS THAT
IS HAVE TROUBLE WITH MAKE THE RIGHT STEP

AMEN

2009-01-14T00:10:00.003+08:00

hmm i kind of miss audrey and kim
since the start of sch i nv talk them
much.

anyway i nid to thanks this two person
alot cos they r the ones who make my
last 3 weeks of my long holiday much
more fun.

i dont wish to loss contact with them cos
good friend hardly come now adays.

anyway may the lord be with them and
bless them in all ways
amen

ppl about 2 more days to prom night
better get all ur things ready cos i have
almost got all my things done.

REALLY REALLY LOOKING FORWARD
4 IT COS I CAN MEET BACK WITH THE
PPL I ONCE U TO C EVERYDAY YEAH
YEAH:D

crap i am getting so high before it even its here
i bet i would be damn crazy that night.

2009-01-11T23:01:00.002+08:00

today started off very nice and i get to buy
up all my things and i feel super happy after
i reach home awhole lot of rubbish things happen.

i suddly lost all my joy and i feel like i am going to
break after wat my mother say to me i just felt super
mega HURT and i start to wonder am i even her son
and why is she treating me this way.

why is she acting like this i am asking myself but i
dont have any clue.

LORD help me by guiding me through this time
of hardship that is coming for me and be my shelter
and pull me together no matter wat happen.

2009-01-07T23:04:00.002+08:00

today when out with audrey again
she drag me to the library at jp
lucky she brought her macbook
for me yeah at less i get to use the mac
and play with it not so boring like the past
few time we when to the library so freaking
boring for me but not for u i think so cos u
get to draw on me.

trm is a trail i have to face although i am
totally not ready but i still have to face it
crap i just hope its not so rush.

LORD help me pass through this trail for
i myself is weak alone but with u i am strong
so Lord help me pass this trail and bless me
in all ways.

2009-01-07T00:15:00.002+08:00

today nv when to dr chew but i will c her very soon and
i will go this time today got something on so nv when haha
lucky today nv very pain.

when out with kim and audrey when to vivo and meet them
and started a long day of shopping from vivo to west mall cool
right.

hmm during our shopping time when also camhore like mad
crap i look damn weird in some pic hmm wan to look at my
funny pic pls go to facebook to take a look hmm but must
wait for audery to upload them man sian.

i am sorry audrey i know u dont wan to c that guy but i also
dont know how to push him away cos he is also my friend and
is not nice ask him dont come when he is on the way in his bike
i am sorry i put u in such a bad spot is my bad ok.
dont be angry and quicky go and finish up all ur homework .

kim wat is wrong with u so low today although i know is very
nice of u the keep me a company today if really u dont wan to
come u can tell me no nid to be so emo la.
ok i promise that the next time we come out i would be damn
nice to u ok lunch is on me ok.

hmm even thought alot of things happen today but i still enjoy
my day haha thank u audrey and kim for keeping me a company
today haha
love both of u deep deep
and may god bless u all ways

walking back were we meet before and thinking alit of u
make me feel alit sour but i know so we can be like last
time in time to come.

time will heal all wound and may the lord bless u and me
in all ways we need help in.

2009-01-05T22:55:00.002+08:00

STUPID i have been stuck at home for the past two day
i nid to break free.

so i have meet kim and audrey for my shopping for my
prom night trm but before all the fun things began i will
have to go back and c doctor chew again crap i have been
have gastric pain for the past 3 days and so my mother is
going to force me to c doctor chew again trm sian another
big amount of money going to be spend.

painful is to let go ur past but be strong for i am
always with u no matter wat happens to u believe in the Lord
for he is the only one that can bring peace into ur life let wat has
happen begone in his name.

Lord i ask that u guide my friend to ur kingdom and let my friend
find peace in u and protect my friend from all harm and evil let
my friend put down the past and move on with his live.

DO NOT FEAR, FOR I AM HERE WITH U
GEN 26:24

2009-01-05T00:58:00.002+08:00

crap wat is happening to me man i almost
when to meet god today lucky my daddy
found me in pain in my room and quickly
send me into the hospital and i got my
gastric pain under control after a painkiller jab.

wow the just started and sometime this stupid
happen to me but its ok i make it haha

a brand new year. a brand new start

2008-12-31T00:44:00.002+08:00

today is the last day of sgb and its wonderful
i learn alot of things this whole month and most
of it is my weakness and i am going to try and improve
wat i am lacking.

thanks everyone for being by my side and helping me
and helping me to clean up everything.

i got wat i needed to move on with my life.
hmm somehow i dont feel so hurt at all cos
maybe i fall before that why i know wat is coming
my way.

i dont why but somehow i know this was coming
so i wan quite ready for it and with this ans i can
go back being BFs with u if u can let the thing down
i have let it all down with ur ans.

OI u better rmb wat u say if i nid u will still be there
for me BETTER RMB this dont stm away ok anyway
being bfs is still the best for us and pls stop being so
FREAKING COLD to me la

2008-12-28T07:24:00.001+08:00

TODAY IS MY 3RD ON DUTY
wonderful how time pass so fast today in my
3rd doing my paa duty and very soon everything
would end.

it sad to end but we must end SGB in a big bang
let hope i can meet all of them next year for now
all i can say is c u till then.

when SGB ended can u final stop being so cold to me
ok or not?

2008-12-24T20:43:00.002+08:00

i am too busy to blog the past few days and totally
lack of sleep and today i get back all my sleep by sleeping the
whole day damn good la more then 20hr of sleep yeah :)

trm is going to be damn crazy cos going to one of my friend
house for a party lets hope i dont go to high and drink non stop
and cant go to work the next day.

alot of unhappy things happen but it has all gone now but the
pain have left another scar in my heart i may not be the most
wonderful person but my feeling towards the someone i love
is more than 100%.

yesterday when out with kim to do some last min shopping
we spend the whole afternoon doing shopping but still got alot
of things still nv buy yet sian la after doing some shopping when
down to ikea wanted to look for jiayu but she nv work yesterday
and after shopping when to have lunch at subway hmm the whole
time with my new friend was damn fun and we were full of rubbish
keep laughing non stop for the whole wow i damn long nv like that.

thank u kim for that totally full of crap and rubbish afternoon i enjoyed
myself. lets come out again and crap around when we r free haha :D

lord guide me through this hardship and bring me to ur kingdom
let me rest in ur arm.

2008-12-17T01:29:00.003+08:00

I final told the person i like that i like her althought
i told her at a very wrong time and i was tired of holding
back and keep telling myself that i am only her friend.

she nv really say anything but i know i am only holding
a very slim hope but at less i say out wat i really feel deep
inside me and i feel so much better haha.

is like a big rock have been remove from my heart it feel
good even i know that the person i like may not feel the
way i feel for her but i jsut wan to tell her that.

i will always be by her side no matter wat things happens
believe me and trust me ok

dont worry i am not going emo because of u cos i dont think
crying and emo over u can make u fall for me right.
i am stronger that u think i am.
i have grow alot stronger from my past.

2008-12-10T13:59:00.002+08:00

wat happen to us ?

why have sgb change us?

i feel damn werid i dont why?

why r u not the understanding anymore?

i feel like i have lost u?

i am lost now u use to be there for me and now

i just feel u r gone.

how can we be back where we came from.

when i am hurt u r always there to heal me and

pull and push me on and now i dont dont.

its my problem i have tried to change and i find

i really did.

that day i dont mean to make u cry?

u know?

i feel damn sick of bbhq

i wish i nv join here maybe than i would be like

this.

someone guide me pls i am really damn lost

i dont wan to lose u cos u r really to imported

to me u know.

2008-12-08T23:10:00.005+08:00

hmm got scolded by ben cos i told him i am going to leave
after car flag off and working with ivan is ok la not that bad
at less i can slack and just work whenever he is not there.

today i final get to talk to her and just before talking to her
i shouted at her and is ben ask me to say sorry to her and i
really dont feel like at first but ben wanted me to do it and i
dont why i also so good do it but lucky she is quite clam and
then we sat at the bus stop and final i manage to talk to her
althought alot of thing nv say finish but i am ok at less we
r starting to break the ice between us i am happy even we
spend so lit time at the bus stop cos its mean more then the
past few days that i am working with u.

maybe i may not have to leave to let u be happy and enjoy.
let us carry on and enjoy everytime we r going to spend
together ok friend

2008-12-07T00:05:00.003+08:00

i did something damn stupid i walk from BBHQ back home
and during this time i really think why did something
like that happen today i dont know but there is something
i know that is our friend is coming to a end and i dont like
it at all but since things have turn so bad and i also can
do nothing i have make a move i am going to leave bbhq
but i will finish up car flag off first.

maybe u may think i am childish or wat so ever during the
1hr i spend thinking through wat has happen and why have
it happen the only think i can ask i am over protecting u and
care too much about wat other ppl comment and since i found
out that without me u r more happy and i also wan my friend
to be happy so i make this move.

final i wish that u would enjoy u time working at bbhq
and all the best with whatever u r doing.

dont worry from now till my end i would not care about any beside
BB work and if i can i will leave u alone and to care on being friend
a not is up to u.

2008-12-02T07:39:00.002+08:00

After yesterday work when to buy joshua birthday gift
and we bought this damn cool thing called pokerchips
and me,glen and yiting bought for joshua cos his birthday
was trm.

yesterday after watching a Chanel 8 show at 8 pm i dont wat
is the name of that show but it really touch my heart and after
watching the show i told my dad i dont wan to do for the BB camp
i dont know why there is this weird feeling in my heart that is telling
me that i should not go for the bb camp.

i dont why i have been looking forward for it but now i wan to redraw from
it i also dont why i just feel very guilt i can have fun and the other r working
like mad i dont like that kind of feeling at all lets hope i can try and let go that
feeling for now.

my heart is aching but i dont know really why :X

2008-11-30T12:04:00.002+08:00

damn piss off by my mother she keep giving
me a black face when i reach home for the pass
few days cos i was reaching home around 11 and
yesterday i almost reach home at 12.30 am and
she damn unhappy about it and she keep scolding
me .

i really dont know how to talk to her so this moring
i call mr mark and ask him to help me with my problem
i hope everything would go fine when i go on my bb trip.

i love my job and i know i dont look at the time when i work
and i am also i very workaholic person and i also dont how
to talk to ppl nicely.

friend i am sorry i have nothing to say all i wan is the best of u
and a smooth time at work.

lord help me and sovle all my problem and may my friendship
grow as we work and let my problem be gone in ur name.

2008-11-28T06:10:00.004+08:00

Look at me i work up at 5 am and i cant sleep anymore cos
my whole heart is filled with alot of feelings.

yesterday i when alot to buy the tress for the SGB for today
and lucky i when cos i learn my own mistake i have been pushing
my boss to hard and i must stop doing that.

thank u for all ur comment by miss chan after yesterday night i will
do my very to be less pushily with hoong sheng.

Pain has gone as the time fly
but the scar on my hand severs
as reminder of my past.

Corrinne May - Scars (Stronger For Life)

I just want to run
Just want to hide away
Close my eyes to your gaze
Just want to leave
Don't want to hear them say
"You're no good at this"

When the world swirls with naysayers
Broken wings and torn pages
The road ahead
Drowning in my tears

Break me open
Tear me down
Into pieces
Broken crumbs
On the ground
You can mould and shape me
In your image
Breathe your life
You know I need it
Scars make us stronger for life

Losing myself
Gaining it back again
Forging strength from weakness
All that I am
All that I'm meant to be
Melting in your hand

Let the world swirl with naysayers
Pickled hearts and sour faces
What is real is what I cannot see

Break me open
Tear me down
Into pieces
Broken crumbs
On the ground
You can mould and shape me
In your image
Breathe your life
You know I need it
Scars make us stronger for life

Cut away
All within me
That won't bear fruit
Cut away
All within me

Cut away
All within me
That won't bear fruit
Cut away
All within me

Break me open
Tear me down
Into pieces
Broken crumbs
On the ground
You can mould and shape me
In your image
Breathe your life
You know I need it
Scars make us stronger

Scars make us stronger for life

2008-11-27T07:05:00.002+08:00

Yesterday after work when for a department head meeting
i was damn scare cos i n v pre get ready myself lucky ivan chan
also very to back me up i was to busy with the wish tag and some other
things and nv really think about the back bifte meeting but overall the
meeting was a very good wan we spend about 2 and the half hr to talk
in to the details and i also got bacak a few very good ideal and i think it
may work.

Although i am one of the youngest to work there but i nv let my age be
a barred to open and share my thought with the other older department.

To my friend dont worry so much dont know anything must ask me dont
keep quite ok rmb i am always there behide u just turn ur head back and i would
be there awaiting to lend a helping hand.

may GOD be with the whole SGB CREW and may the whole project run
smoothly in ur hands and let us enjoy the time we spend in there.

2008-11-25T15:46:00.002+08:00

today i am in a really really bad mood i also
dont know why i just dont feel like talk or
do anything i dont know why?

why do this botther me so much?
i also dont know

i just dont feel like myself today.
i wan a break i wan to take a breath.

a unhappy day at work T.T

2008-11-23T21:35:00.002+08:00

trm is my first time wearing formal wear at hq
i dont how la abit scare cos very long nv wear leh.
i hope i dont look damn weird in long shirt and pants
and shoes.

yesterday and today when shopping with my mother
damn long nv go out with her and today she told me
alot of thing i and i also share about my working life
with her hmm it was kind of nice la.

i bought alot of new shirts and pants damn nice la
i damn long nv do shopping alot of place change so
much.

2008-11-23T09:55:00.002+08:00

yesterday my mother bought us out to eat cos
my tem maid last day and the new maid is coming
on monday.

i really hope that the new maid is as good as the tem
maid i really hope so cos i dont wan every time change
maid damn sian wan leh.

2008-11-22T14:59:00.002+08:00

now i am going to rest and get ready to start
the busy month coming up a head i hope
i can manage hmm i think i can cos i got
2 ppl that can really help me.

i am not really ready now but i will when the
time come.

leave the past and enter to the new future
with the ppl i love and care.

2008-11-21T21:17:00.002+08:00

haha today is my 200 post yeah its been some it since
i started to blog i use to think blogging was a waste of
time but now 1 day dont blog also cannot make it even
sometime i write already put i just nv post up.

blogging somehow is part of my life and i am enjoying
it to the fullest and it a place to distress myself from all
the rubbish thing in my life.

hmm today was the same at work just keep doing paperwork
but it was kind of fun cos its also helping the needy dont u think
its wonderful can earn money and also helping the poor i enjoy it
and i think everyone that is sgb crew also having the same mind
set and that is helping the needy and putting others before themself.

2008-11-19T23:24:00.002+08:00

yeah i got a pay increment yeah quite happy
today i got yiting and sheng wei to help me
yiting was damn good and sheng wei was
slacking damn it la but anyway things still
was done at the end and i was happy left work
around 4.30 and reach home about 5 and when to
rest for alit while and then work up at 7.30 to have
dinner i dont eat much for dinner i dont know why
i am lossing my appetite maybe the working stress.

trm i got yiting to help me again so i was quite happy
at less i got someone to help me out and she is free and
another thing is she also joining SGB as well and she will
be working with me at pa as IC as well cool right :D

2008-11-18T22:17:00.002+08:00

yesterday after work rush down to 79 and when i reach there
they were about to start BBQ it was ok la but when they reach
night part and the night meeting i was damn lost cos i dont know
where to go and i feel so extra then i when to the hall and start
to talk to my friend and after talking i feel much.

when i and the others BB primiers were having our meeting i feel
like i totally dont belong in there at all cos i feel their world and my
world is so apart and wat they r talking is about gal and sex and i
totally dont like it maybe i am not that DIRTY kind of guys so that
kind of put me out of the group.

today when to sentosa to have the game for the sec 3 NCO and it
was fun but i was being throw down into the water and we had hell
lot of fun in the water but when we get out of the water and they
started to push me on the sand and i was coved with sand damn
mess but fun.

although this is my 2nd NCO planing but i am still very new to the whole
primer thing and i told myself give time for ppl to get to know me and for
me to get use to them.

slowly working toward for the better:)

2008-11-14T20:59:00.002+08:00

today is like damn tried cos we work non stop till
and right after lunch is back to work and i am not
behind timing i am suppost to finish all the 10k of
wish tag by today but i did not make it so i have to
go back on monday and finish it about 3k more
to all thanks to xing ya , glen mok, jeremy lim, marcus tan
and a bigger thank u to sheng wei and zhi xiang becos they
stay till then end of the day i really dont know how to finish
5k without all of ur help THANK U :)

working non stop is not fun at all but today sheng wei was
the person that bring alot of joy to our woking offices cos
we were keep making fun of sheng wei and his red face and
we also call him tomato face i know is damn bad but i know
sheng wei can take it cos he is use to it.

i also tried the super staker burger at bk wow is damn big
and damn nice u all should try it man.

xing ya when working with so much guys may be alit stress
but i hope u dont mind and the next time we come out lunch is
on me ok haha :)

today is day for me but i enjoy working with u guys
THANK U SOO MUCH :D

2008-11-14T08:44:00.002+08:00

thank u ralene and christ teo
for helping yesterday at BBHQ
i dont know wat will happen if
u all nv come and help me yesterday
really thank u.

today going to be damn busy as well
got about 7 k more to go before i can
call it done yesterday ralene and christ
help me cut about 3k i hope to day with more
ppl i can do more cutting.

2008-11-12T08:19:00.002+08:00

DAMN TRIED
yesterday meeting started at 7.30 and end around 11.30
i reach home around 12am damn wat a long meeting was
it but at less got to know the new member of the team and
i forgot to tell u guys that i was change to PA cos they nid
PPL to handle that place so i was put in it and to be honset
this year we r lacking to manpower they is only 3 op team member
plus me so i am damn lack for manpower.i also got 10 PPA but they
all coming at different timing so not good at all.

they cut my pay due to AIA is pulling out from sgb this year we got
about 20,000 ppl i nid to send the PA bags to and about 1,000 homes
if i am not wrong there should about 21,000+ /-.
so it going to be damn stress cos i nid to do my homework well and get
ready wat is coming at me.

so u can c that my hands r damn full so if u wan to meet me pls tell me
in adv cos i nid to plan nicely before i can leave.
guess wat i am damn stress but i am happy cos this is something very meaningful
athought i dont get pay very well but is something that i can help to bring
joy to they poor and the 2 pa bags that we r going to give out can last them 6 months
so to them is somthing that they r looking forward to get. In this time alot of things
r too X for some ppl to even buy a pack of rice that why there is SGB to help out
the poor once a year and athought this year we lost AIA and 100K due to the
shares things but they r still going to run it.

after blogging i got to meet up the awards ppl i hope my Ic will be there.

2008-11-09T21:22:00.002+08:00

I AM DAMN TRIED
never sleep sinces yeatday night
damn i really nig to get some sleep
but everytime i lay down i keep
thing of the problem i know i cant
sleep till all the problem is solves

i wish i can have another break but
i cant cos too much work on my table
working with the ppl u care alot is kind
of hard.

2008-11-09T03:21:00.003+08:00

After a good day resting i got alot of bad bad news
i dont why is this happening and i cant help at
all.

today i recived a call from brandon tan and he
told me that 2 boys nv go and 2 boy got send back
home and out of the 4 of them 3 of them is
my student i always think my student r the
best and they will not give up till the very end
i dont know why have they give up on founders
i wonder have they all forgot wat have i thought
them u all r the wan the follow me through the
hard time part of BB and that is NDP.

have u all forgot the hard work we put into working
and our best in NDP07.

as i say before i am nv going to give up on them but
now they r giving up themselves and they all doing it behind
my back wat is this man. here am i trying my very best
helping u all there r u all throwing away all my hard work
i dont think this is fair to me.

i once told all the boys that went 4 NDP07 if u nid any help
call me and i will help u guys have u all forgot i really dont know
wat to comment on u guys haven u guys learn anything from me
u make me so disappointed in u guys.

i dont think tonight i can sleep at all althought i know is stupid cos
the things have happen but my mind keep thinking about it i am
sad not becos u all r not getting founders anymore i am sad why
have u all give up and why u all nv fight till the very end.

a very big hit for me today and i dont how many more is going to
come but all i know is i must stand firm keep every going cos there is
still ppl on this ship that nid my help.

ppl that have left this ship i still welcome u back on this ship cos there
is still hope dont give up cos i am nv going to give up on u cos even when
the ship is sinking the captain cant leave unless he is sure that everyone
have left the ship that is being a good captain.

2008-11-08T00:07:00.002+08:00

today also wake up damn early to go take my new passport
after finish taking i when down to funan and started to shop
around i very long nv do shopping on my own hmm today
bought a few thing.

if there is something i have learn from my past is i my give
myself a break and do wat i enjoy ,relax and dont think about
work just do wat i like and dont care so must first.

wow funan got alot of new things and i also get a first hand preview
of the new DS i damn cool but damn X but i was on the website
they said next year singapore than got i dont know how they so
fast can get there hands on it but it looks nice.

today is damn enjoyable no work,stress or wat so ever just myself
and myself hmm although is damn fun but i spend a heck lot of money .
next week i am going to be damn stress cos not much free time for myself
i was suppost to go out with all my friends but i cant now cos too much work
left undone hmm that why i am going to work overtime so i can at less go
the week after next week.

2008-11-07T01:02:00.002+08:00

I am really asking myself again and again
how am i going to solve this damn hurdle
how do i solve this damn fking problem
in award i am the only person left with
them i cant give up on now not even
mr chua is going to help them now i
am really standing alone and facing the
problem this sucks i hate to alone but
wat can i do i care and love them so
much that i feel so hurt when they do
such things to hurt themself and awards
i dont know why do i care so much also
maybe i have spent alot of time with them
and toward them is no longer my Boys but
they r like my friends and some of them r
even like my brothers from another family

the more i care for them the more they lack sometimes
i wonder is this wat i wan thing to go till they leave bb
i dont know i really very lost and helpless i really care
too much to give up on them

GUYS i love u as much as i love my own brother
but that why wat every u r doing is hurting me
u know.

The ones that you love the most are usually
the ones that hurt you the most but i am still
going to stay strong cos every ship needs a
captain to reach its where ever it needs to go.

2008-11-06T00:13:00.003+08:00

Today was my 2nd last das lesson hmm
a place i am going to be leaving this year
sad dont why is year have been a very sad
year for me damn alot things have happen
but more bad then good.

hmm next week is going to be my last lesson
then i will be leaving das hmm i guess i would
miss all the ppl over there i guess.

time has past so fast and soon everything will be
gone just like time fly.

standing here and now is not something fun and sometimes
i almost give up on living but at the end i somehow manage
to carry on walking hmm i guess is god that put ppl there
to help me i guess.

next week will be meeting alot of high rank ppl
sian sian not going to enjoy any of that but i guess
this is part of my job sian nvm do it for the money.

2008-11-05T01:25:00.002+08:00

today i woke up at 6 am and when down to
yishun just becos i was worry that why i when down
i can choose to go out with my friends yet i have
make a choose to go down but when one of the
boy told me that my awards IC was still sleeping and
lazy to come i was damn angry.

i am not in BB anymore yet i can wake up at 6am
to rush down to yishun to bring the boys there
and u the award IC is sleep at home wat is this man
if not for the Boys i would nv u help i would nv step in
and help u damn lucky but not everything i can
come in and help u know.

if i know this is going to happen i would nv put u
as the IC of awards i would fight to have someone
that i wanted to be the IC

mr chua u have make another big mistake i told
u that CT should be in awards and not drill and
mr chua if have take my words today this kind
of problem will not happen.

why i even bother to help
i should have been firm and nv when down
to yishun to bring the Boys there.
U dont even worth me helping at ALL

2008-11-04T01:45:00.002+08:00

Today i have been let down by the person
who i thought will nv dare to let me down
and today is also the day i hope all the hope
in awards.

to awards 1st IC
if i u nv meet that girl will u still be like
this i wonder? u really let me down i feel like
u wasted all my time i spend in teaching u and
u r the only few ppl in my life i thought will nv
hurt yet u r the one of the few that can really cut me
i dont how i teach u anymore.

2008-11-02T02:51:00.002+08:00

yesterday when to c my gastric doctor and she
told me that my gastric is better and i nv get scolding
haha but she say i still nid to take good care of my own
gastric cos is still very weak.

but after seeing my doctor i really wan to have a drink
but i was stop by my mother and got scolding from her:(
damn i still haven got any drink for damn long i miss my
drink :)

today i when to ICA to make my passport by i did not make
it in time but i when to challenger to but check out something
and when to buy a dvd player cos at home just spoiled so nid a
new player.

after buying when back home and try out my dvd player and
guess wat my dvd player come with a usb port means i can
play my music and blast it with my tv speakers yeah
but i guess if i do that when my mother is at home she is going
to scream at me hmm i must wait till monday to try blasting my
wonderful emo music.
yeah cant wait to blast my music till ppl complain

i rate myself 45% out of 100%
hmm as this few day past i think i am starting to forget wat happen
and let myself to move and i can final start to enjoy my holiday.

u all must be guess why did i only rate 45% cos there is something
wanted to post out but i hold back hmm i guess i still cant fully face it
yet nvm i will just have to let GOD AND TIME do the healing for me
haha:)

2008-10-30T17:40:00.005+08:00

For the past few i have really thing through
i have final make a hard move i am going to
move on with my painful heart and life not
matter how painful its going to i am not going
to look back cos this is the only way i am going
to forget her and my past.

i know this road that i have choose is going to
be damn hard but this is the only way that i
can 100% forget everything that is unhappy.

for too long i had let myself be haunted by the
thing that have happen and now i have make
a stand for me to move on and nv to look back
no matter wat happen.

i hope my bestfriends can also make their stand
when they think they really nid to stand firm.

that all for today
i guess i nid to change the way i grade myself
hmm let me think....
ok i know i will use 100% as my full mark and
when i get 100% means i have totally forget everything
about the unhappy things in my life
haha

today i shall grade myself
40%

2008-10-28T22:54:00.002+08:00

i wonder how can ppl jump down from
the buliding so easily i wish i can also do
that too bad i cant cos i am tie down by
alot of things and i dont wan to be name
as a coward.

i feel much better after thinking so much
things and looking back from my failure

today is 2/5

2008-10-26T21:53:00.002+08:00

I AM GOING CRAZY

0/5
history is going to repeat its self

2008-10-26T00:38:00.002+08:00

today i am really down

i really cant blog anymore :(

today is 0/5
i fail today and i fail it very badly
my whole head is her
i really want to forget her

2008-10-24T23:44:00.003+08:00

today i am finally a Primer yeah :D
i am applying for The President's Award
i use to have this dream that i can prove
to ppl that normal T can also get President award
and to show ppl that we r not useless.

i have a goal now and i know is damn freaking hard
to get it cos only less than 10 ppl can get per year
but i will still do my very very best.

presidents award here i come
everyone look out for me :D

i love u but u can nv know
cos if u ever know i may lose
another friend and i dont wish
let history repeat its self
all i can say is i will always be by
ur side when u nid me but i will
nv show that i like u cos i love u.

today i rate myself 4.5/5

2008-10-22T23:09:00.003+08:00

i am sick of u
i really wish i nv know u
cos u remind me of my ex

i hate my ex
and now i hate myself
becos i fall for u

i hate myself
HATE IT HATE IT

2008-10-18T00:45:00.002+08:00

today my day is final getting abit more
busy and i kind of like it cos i dont have
to waste my day away.

next week i am going to apply for something
damn power i just got the new and i am damn
happy haha
a very good news is coming on the way.

i really nid to stop drink :X

today is the best day for me

from now on i am going to rate my days

today is 4/5 :)

2008-10-16T23:29:00.002+08:00

today is the 7 day of my long and painful
holiday i can no longer be with the ppl
i wan to be anymore i can no longer
be with them the pain i suffer is more
painful then cutting myself no matter
how many times i cut i will not match
up to the pain i have now.

my nightmare is no longer just nightmare
but it came to realty.

the trap i told myself so many times not
to fall in yet i fall in the 2nd time i wish
i nv meet her so i can nv fall into the trap
that is going to be a nightmare.

wat should i do i dont know:(

2008-10-15T22:40:00.002+08:00

glen and yiting
u all r not suppost to read
my blog from now cos
i am going to start blogging
all my emo things in it
pls dont read

glen u read i will kick ur ass
yiting u read i will hmm i will
i dont know also nv i will think of
something.

2008-10-15T16:04:00.003+08:00

i dont wats going to happen to me
i kind of lose my way.

i cant sleep since the day i felt sch
everyday i would drink and drink
but it still cant drunk my sorrow i dont know
why.

was is going wrong with me
i dont know
and i keep thinking of her
i dont know
dang

i lost my way,hope and everything
that is following it.

i hate this holidays

2008-10-13T22:12:00.003+08:00

i thought i would nv
fall into this trap again

looks like i did again

why am i so stupid
why why why

2008-10-12T14:25:00.002+08:00

Today is 3rd day of my super long holiday work
have not started yet so stay at home the last few days
i dont why but i feel that i am lost and worry wat if
i cant handle the job given.

Somehow i lost my fighting spirit i dont why maybe
i am not as good as last time.as they say when u r at
the top u have no where to go but down so maybe
i am droping like mad i dont why i dont this bad
feel i think i have lost faith in myself. i am not longer
the strong and always not giving in to failure clifford
anymore i have change i dont why.

I feel so lost and worry i wish that the person that
was always supporting me is here now beside me
and support but this is not the case i have to stand
on my own but i dont am i ready.

I MISS ......

2008-10-09T23:07:00.002+08:00

today my last day after today i will not be able to go back to
sch anymore.

after my paper when to bbhq and talk to miss chan and cheak
out on the job the give me and i am joining them 100% in nov 28.

so its means after the 28of nov i will be damn fking busy i am given
manpower IC as a post paid is **** i cant say cos miss chan say so
at less this time i am going to have hell lot of workload.

sian going to be damn stress

i am damn lonely now

2008-10-08T22:34:00.003+08:00

Yeah trm is finally coming i nv thought i was going to be so fast
but looks like my time in fairfield has ended for good i can nv
be a student of fairfield again after trm so sad but i still must
face it cos this is part of life.

THANK U FAIRFIELD FOR EVERYTHING U HAVE DONE
IN MY LIFE.

THANK U SO SO SO MUCH

I hope i can c the people i wan to c
tmr all my friends pls let my c u guys
for the last time.

I going to miss u all like mad:(
miss u all T.T

2008-10-06T20:14:00.003+08:00

yesterday night yeah i final sleep and
i it was damn wonderful i nv thought
i would miss sleep nicely with on dreams
or nightmare.

today i had my cpa paper 1 and it was ok
not very hard overall DO ABLE
yeah:) ONLY 1 more to go D&T:(

I will not give up on u guys but u better give
me ur support or i am leave u guy to ur own wits
ok dont disappoint me anymore i am back and
this time i am going to be more scary then last
time u all better be ready to get my scolding
and this time alot more than last time.

CLIFFORD IS BACK AND MORE SCARY
BE READY !!!!!
HAHAHA

2008-10-05T16:49:00.002+08:00

wow i have not been sleeping properly
for sometime

i dont know why
but i hope time can heal

yesterday night took out all the pic
and thing i have and look at it and
think back about the 4 years i spent
in BB the things that come back
is very sad cos alot thing i though i was
good at that time may not turn out to
be wat i have planed and alot of things
when out of control when i am not there
sad right when u r there u can make sure
all the thing run nicely but when u r gone
all the thing go out of control and is like
the hard work u put in is wasted.

i have not much hope in them anymore
now i am waiting to go back and make
thing where they should belong.

tried of dispointment by u guys
i tried so hard to teach u guys but
only 2 out of 10 of u guys put my words
into ur brains why r u all like this cant
u all grow up and be a leader.

GROW UP PLS

2008-10-04T21:25:00.002+08:00

yesterday night cant sleep again
damn i really nid to sleep damn
tried but i just cant get myself to
sleep damn it :(

wat is stopping to sleep i dont know
but i really want to know

SOMEONE TELL ME PLS

2008-10-02T22:22:00.002+08:00

yesterday when to sit the singapore flyer it was damn high
and the view at the top is the best after that when to eat
dinner yap that is all

today mug the whole day cos trm is math paper 2 i bet is
going to be damn hard but i am ok quite ready for it hmm
lets cross our finger that the paper is not going to that hard
as i think it would.

trm is breadfast with my best friend haha i guess this is a
make up for last friday and i am so sorry i even lie to u
about that thing i got my own reason pls belive me i don't
mean it at to lie to u pls forgive me ok :S

life and death is just a line apart

and here i wan to pray for the gal from my sch that just pass on
even thought i dont know her well but even so i still am praying
for her.

lord i just ask u can help the girl and bring her back from hell
and go to ur kingdom and lord bless her family and the ppl
around her to over come her death and move on with their
life.

in jesus name
AMEN

2008-10-01T02:42:00.002+08:00

look like tonight i am going to have a sleepless
night again shit this is the 5th night i nid to
sleep but my brain just keep thinking about
the stupid thing shit why cant i get over it
and just go and sleep damn it i wan to sleep
but i can.

why why why
i bloody hell don't know the ans

2008-09-30T19:23:00.002+08:00

again my night was sleepless even though i took
sleeping pills but i still cant sleep why is
me bothering me i dont know wat is wrong with
me i also dont know

going to burst soon
damn tried T.T

2008-09-29T20:05:00.003+08:00

Today was my sci and math papers
wow sci paper 1 was ok but sci paper 2
was damn hard la alot of qus i dont know
how to ans lucky math was do- able.

After all the papers i done my head was
damn pain today wanted to stay back but
i cant cos of my stupid head if not i can
be in class playing sian.

Yesterday night is the 3rd night in the
row i cant sleep well i dont know why
i wish i know why cant i sleep really:(

2008-09-28T22:48:00.002+08:00

Yesterday night cant sleep again hmm
i guess the stress is starting to get the
better of me and the problem i have
with my friend is building on me i am
trying very hard to find the problem
why do things always started well
but it ended like shit.

i dont wan to lose u but i am feeling i ready have

2008-09-27T23:51:00.002+08:00

Today did not when out at all just stay at home and sleep
cos last night i nv sleep at all i just fall asleep there is just
to much things in my brain i nid to learn how to relax
and let go cos exam is just 2 day from now.

A bad news i stop vomiting for the last 2 week today
my vomiting start again i dont know why also. I take
my medicine on time but i dont why i still vomit >.<

trm is F1 race yeah have been looking forward
for damn long wow it final come singapore yeah
GO F1 cars VOOM VOOM VOOM yeah !!!

i am going to miss u but
there is nothing i can do if
u don't make a stand.

Time to let go and move on

2008-09-26T19:43:00.004+08:00

Today wake up at 5am to bath and around 5.30 took 93 down to
get mac for breadfast after getting the breadfast took a cab down
to cos i scare i will be late to meet yiting at sch so i waste money
to take a cab out but when i reach sch i got a call from her and
she say she will be coming and i belive her but i waited for almost
a hr and when she come i ask why is she late and she told me is
becos of nic tan i got damn piss.

i woke up so ealy and come to sch to meet u for breadfast becos
this is the very last time i am getting to meet u as a ur sch mate
after today i know our chances of meeting each other will be very
hard so i wanted to have a finial breadfast with u but the out come
is not wat i image it to be but it turn out to be the totally diff.

i am damn sad and angry

i when to math class i was totally off i was thinking wat happen
and i even got scolded by mr lim for not forcing in class .

i was totally down till i meet mr mark and he talk to me
and he ask me what happen why do i look so sad and piss
and i told him wat happen and he told me keep my cool
and think wat i wan to and dont let anger get the better
of me and if i dont talk to her she will feel very sad and
her exam is also coming i should also think about her.

after talking with mr mark i think for a long time wat should
i do just keep being angry and play cold toward her but if i did
she will not be able to forces on her studys so after a long think
i make a chose to talk to her and cool myself to talk to her.

i only reson i am forgiving her is becos she is my best friend
and i love her i dont wan her to lose focers in her studys
so that why i forgive her.

yiting - today i came to sch with a happy mood but as the time
pass my heart sink to the bottom cos i know that u r surly with
nic and u will miss our breadfast meeting i know u dont mean it
is that guy.

when i was waiting i ask myself why cant u make the abit selfish
move is our meet not impoten at all is that guy more impoten then
our friendship i was asking myself this qus over and over again
and i broke down after i left u cos i know i am nv going to get to
have a breadfast with u nv more cos today is my very last day

and even now i am still very down but i dont want u to be unhappy
so i did wat i should do i hope u r happy but i know am not at all
but i forgive u

T.T MY HEART IS BLEEDING NOW T.T
FEELING MORE PAINFUL THEN
BEFORE

2008-09-25T22:58:00.002+08:00

today no sch but got some lesson when to sch at
8.45 for the first lesson and then when over to dover
with elize to buy lunch back to sch.

after that was 2 long hr of math lesson after that was
damn tried but still when to play some games before
meeting yiting to have lunch

hmm lunch was quite nice i have nv been eating with
her for quite sometime so anyway is going to be the last
time i meet her as a student of FAIRFIELD the next time
i meet her i will be a i know also.

but i hv fun talk to her and also try to dig the meat out from
the crab shell haha and ppl keep looking at us damn ps

after lunch when to queestown library to study and then
we also chat for awhile at the bus stop.

hmm today a i got a new bodyguard and her name is
LIANG YITING
hmm u ask me how much i rate u out of
5 star.
i give u 5 star happy my new bodyguard

2008-09-24T21:12:00.002+08:00

haha today is my 2nd post
my 1st post i was still damn piss off
by my father but now i am still piss
off but my mother told me if i give up
now means i lose to him and he is right
and my mother also say this dont care
wat my father say cos he is damn childish
sometimes

after wat my mother say to me i have change
my view and i am getting back on my feets and
working again still got less than 5 days till my
exam

haha i got to get back to study now

2008-09-24T12:18:00.002+08:00

i am totally hate yesterday cos after i finish blogging my
stupid father come and piss me off to the core and i almost
fight with him.

wat is wrong with him man i nv make him wat keep making
me and telling me so stress dont study la fine i make him happy
i am not going to study anymore i am also not going to take my
exam la even better right asshole.

why is god so unfair to me???
why have god plan my life to be so hard??
why at my weaks point in my life must still put someone there
to step on me???
GOD WHY R U SO UNFAIR TO ME

2008-09-23T20:06:00.005+08:00

The day started off quite well but as it go on it get
hard to control my feels i have even have cry in class
abit cos i know i am going to miss my friends but
the last few hr before for i leave sch was just
totally boring.

I thought that leave is going to be very hard but
the out come has took a different way cos i dont
think anybody care about my class leave expect
the teachers not even my best friend come and
say a goodbye to me but nvm cos this show me
how much they care.

anyway this is how my sec sch life going to end
a lonely,tired, and upsad ending

hmm i guess this is the end of most of my friendship
so sad right why do i even care when most of them
dont even give a shit about me
i am just damn upsad and hurt by them.

NOW I AM TOTALLY PISS BUT I STILL HAVE TO
SAY THIS LAST FEW THINGS.

thx amber for your breadfast and to my beloved CLASS 4I of 2008
even we may have alot of unhappy event before but i still love and
care for u guy cos u r all my classmate for the last 4 years A BIG
THANK U TO ALL U GUY.

2008-09-22T21:08:00.002+08:00

today sch was just pure BORING in class but after
sch where the FUN really begain when to art room
to help out and to study at the same time hmm not
bad i did 2 paper 1 math and 1 sci now i am totally
tried and worn out too but still must go on to study
cos i am only left back a few more day now damn
STRESS.

today also give out my homemake sandwich all say
nice so happy that my heart work pay off hmm i nv give
everyone yet i still not yet give yiting cos she nv come so
la stupid la i dont wan to waste the food so i gave to joy
but at less she got eat it haha hardwork not wasted

trm is my worst nightmare i wish this day nv come but
it just come so soon my LAST DAY i so wish that this
day can slow down but no it just keep getting faster
sian i am going to try not to cry

i am already so missing sch i wish i can stay abit longer